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The sex industry is legal around the world Article: Luba Fine The Israeli media and social networks call the regulatory series of the sex industry by the word "institutionalization". This term has no equivalent in the English language, so we will refer to the sex industry in the country as "regulated", when places of prostitution (brothels, brothels, massage parlors that also offer prostitution services) are given the legal status of a business or a limited company. The types of regulation that meet the definition This may be different, and in the framework of the article we will focus on some of them. The regulatory series of the sex industry exists in approximately 22 countries in the world (this list may change depending on changes in local legislation): ​ In Africa: Eritrea, Tunisia (under strict restrictions), Senegal. In Europe: Switzerland, Germany, Holland, Austria, Hungary, Greece and Turkey. In Oceania: New Zealand, several countries in Australia, parts of Micronesia and West Guinea, Dutch and Australian territories. In North America: parts of the state of Nevada in the USA and some states in Mexico. In Central and South America: El Salvador, Guatemala, Panama, Bolivia, Chile, Ecuador, Peru, Uruguay, Venezuela and the Dutch territories in the Caribbean. In Asia: Bangladesh, Lebanon (under strict restrictions). ​ There are differences between the laws of the countries, which give places of prostitution the status of a business. The countries differ in the scope of regulation and the type of regulation. Some countries, such as New Zealand, prohibit non-citizens or residents of the country from engaging in prostitution [i] , while other countries, such as Germany, allow it for citizens of European Union countries [ii] . There are countries that require prostitutes to have a license, and countries that do not. Despite the great differences that exist between the states of the institution, they all have a common camp: the "third party", the one who earns a living by engaging others in prostitution, is defined in them as having a legitimate occupation. Accordingly, the women engaged in prostitution are expected to pay taxes [iii] and meet various regulatory requirements. Anyone who cannot or does not want to obey the regulation - becomes a criminal. Here are some examples of regulations applied in different countries: ​ ​ In Tunisia, you can engage in prostitution in only two areas: the Sfax district and the red light district in the city of Medina [i] , where only women in prostitution and men are allowed to enter. Women are only allowed to take vacations during menstruation, and they are not allowed to work in anything else [ii] . In the USA, prostitution can only be practiced in licensed brothels in several rural counties of Nevada (the hundreds of women in prostitution that flood Las Vegas are actually criminals, as in the rest of the USA) [iii] . In Lebanon, prostitution is legal, but in an attempt to eradicate it, the government no longer issues new licenses. Therefore, every new woman who joins the circle of prostitution is breaking the law. In many of the countries that regulate the sex industry, women are required to undergo periodic health examinations (in some countries the frequency is very high, such as 20 days in Bolivia). The women are obliged to carry documents with them indicating the date of the last examination [iv] . It is not about protecting the women themselves, but their clients. Protection of the women required inspection of the brothel inspectors. In New Zealand, it is the woman in prostitution who is required to enforce the obligation to use condoms, and she may be fined if she does not [v] . In Berlin and other parts of Germany women are required to pay taxes in advance. The tax is usually collected by the brothel owners. ​ ​ We will now refer separately to some recognized countries with regulation on the sex industry. Netherlands It is often mentioned as a synonym for an institutionalized sex industry. A law, which permits the activity of brothels, was enacted in 2000. A legal brothel is required to hold a license issued by the municipality. The women in prostitution are also required to register and get a license. The license includes a photo and a serial number, but not the woman's name. As a rule, those engaged in prostitution are not hired workers of the brothels, but freelancers who rent space from them. In the Netherlands there are many restrictions on the practice of prostitution. Each local authority determines in which areas and in what form it allows the practice of prostitution, and as a result, street prostitution and prostitution in private homes are prohibited in most areas of the country. The "red window" districts associated with the sex industry in the Netherlands are only allowed in ten cities, the largest of which are Amsterdam and The Hague [ix] . In 2005, two Labor politicians, Emma Asante and prostitution survivor Karina Chapman, submitted a report that presented the dimensions of organized crime and violence within legal prostitution businesses. These and other reports showed that the goals of legalization had failed. In recent years, steps have been taken in the country to reduce the sex industry, this as a result of its connection with crime in general and trafficking in women in particular [x] [xi] [xii] . Job Cohen, the former mayor of Amsterdam, claimed that the sex industry has long gone out of control. According to him, the original purpose of the institutionalization was to allow small businesses to operate. However, the sex industry was soon invaded by criminal gangs from Eastern Europe and other countries outside the Netherlands. These brought to the Netherlands victims of trafficking, drugs, murders and other criminal activity [xiii] . Today, many municipalities make it difficult for new brothels and even existing ones to renew their license [xiv] . Germany In Germany, the sex industry has been regulated for a hundred years. As of today, brothels are required to hold a special license. Prostitutes can be brothel workers, but the vast majority are freelancers. Residents of EU countries can engage in prostitution in Germany, but not foreigners from non-EU countries. Each local authority may define, where it is allowed to operate a prostitution business and at what hours. You can find a wide variety of types of prostitution in Germany: street, discreet apartments, strip clubs, saunas and even mega brothels. One of them, named "Artemis", boasts a rare capacity of 600 rooms. In 2001, a law called [xv] Prostitutionsgesetz was enacted in Germany. Its purpose was to bring about the liberalization of the sex industry, even though it was already legal. The law entered into force in 2002. The number of women in prostitution in the country varies between 90,000 and 900,000, according to various estimates. In 2016, a new law was passed in Germany called the Prostituiertentschutzgesetz, that is, the law for the protection of women (and others) in prostitution, which came into force in 2017. The purpose of the law was to tighten supervision of the sex industry, with the aim of correcting a number of negative consequences of the legislation the former Among other things, the new law created assistance routes for victims of trafficking and women in prostitution who are in need, and added a registration obligation for women in prostitution (which is renewed every two years for girls 21 and over, and once a year for girls 18 to 21). Due to the registration obligation, the law was called the "bureaucratic monster". In an interview with "Nordic Model Now" magazine, Dr. Klein referred to the strengths and weaknesses of the new law. To the question of whether the law is a "bureaucratic monster" as its opponents call it, she replied: "I cannot say whether it is a bureaucratic monster. The law may help some trafficked women from Eastern Europe because they now have counseling and phone numbers they can call to get information and contact German officials. There were several cases in Munich where service organizations identified what appeared to be forced prostitution during mandatory health counseling sessions. It is important to note that although many confuse mandatory counseling with forced health examinations, it is counseling and not examination. The medical consultation is done annually." "After the meeting, the women must register at the municipal offices. The data will be deleted after two years, if the women do not renew their registration. As mentioned, 21-year-old girls are required to renew their registration every two years, while women between the ages of 18 and 21 must go to a medical consultation every 6 months and renew their registration annually. This may help EU citizens in prostitution to prove how long they have worked and stayed in Germany, and make it easier for them to receive welfare payments and social support. The law also states that cities, municipalities or counties must provide some counseling to women in prostitution in addition to the mandatory medical counseling. There is also a concern , because most of the services that exist for women in prostitution are run by the bodies that belong to the lobby that supports the sex industry. Under the influence of the law, they began to clean up their websites, but until recently they openly stated that they demand that "sex work" be recognized as standard work, no different from work Otherwise. Many of them provided assistance to women seeking to enter prostitution, but did not offer services to women who wanted to leave it. The new law also does not contain any provision or funding for rehabilitation services, and it is up to the districts and municipalities to decide whether to provide such services." "The law stipulates the obligation to use condoms. Refusal to comply with it is expected to result in heavy fines, which will be paid by the prostitutes. The law is therefore intended to help women insist on condoms. Finally, the law also has provisions regarding pregnant women. Thus, during the last six weeks of pregnancy, it is not possible to engage in prostitution According to the conditions of the license. Cases are known in which the government denied benefits to women at the end of pregnancy on the grounds that they continued to engage in prostitution. In fact, women trying to get out of prostitution often face obstacles of this type - welfare / social assistance officials do not believe that they have gotten out of prostitution and the minimum financial support has been denied to them." . Dr. Inga Klein also presents an abolitionist angle: "As an abolitionist, I think the law has two main purposes. One of them is to collect data on the extent of legal prostitution in Germany. In 2016, Germany failed to provide even a rough estimate of the number of women in prostitution. An estimate of 400,000 was mentioned in many places, but without a clear reference. In the press, Numbers ranged from 90,000 to 900,000. It was ridiculous and of course embarrassing, considering that Germany bases its justification for regulation on the importance of transparency, and the politicians and others argue against the Nordic model, because it makes the sex industry secretive." "The second and main goal is to facilitate the collection of taxes, to make women pay for the social security system and health insurance programs. The law from 2001 was also intended for the same purpose. Its stated goal was to decriminalize women in prostitution and make social benefits available to them. In practice, it made women these to pay for the welfare mechanism. The law from 2001 was enacted at the same time as other laws in Germany, which cut the welfare system and introduced significant changes to the pension rights of married women (actually cut them) in order to make them integrate into work and pay into the system (or lose their pension rights). It was Some of the austerity ideas called 'Agenda 2010' by the government of Social Democrats and the Greens. The current law continues the system, since the mandatory registration allows the tax authorities to collect data. The taxes that the women are required to pay include income tax, value added tax (on the services provided, that is 19 % of what the buyer pays), brothel taxes. Cities can impose additional taxes (sometimes called entertainment/pleasure tax). This tax is significant for cities, generating up to €600,000 a year in places like Dusseldorf - although this figure includes taxes on strip clubs ". "Brothels charge the women a payment through the rent for the room. They may also collect the VAT through the rent. This means that in Germany the brothels are engaged in collecting taxes. The women are supposed to keep a clear record of all clients, earnings and receipts given by the brothels, and then submit the paperwork to the tax offices as part of their tax return. Tax obligations in Germany are one of the main obstacles to leaving prostitution. The new law makes it worse, by making taxation more systematic. Additional provisions include stricter regulations for brothel owners and those who operate prostitution sites. Anyone who rents premises for prostitution purposes is now considered a pimp - with the exception of someone who engages in prostitution alone from a rented or owned place. There are also regulations concerning hygiene (the details vary from district to district), and the identity of the pimp (those convicted of trafficking will not receive a license to maintain a place of prostitution). Brothels must also allow visits by social workers, and install a safety system." "Regulations are less strict in the case of apartments, where most of the prostitution probably takes place, and many of us believe that most of the victims of trafficking are there - just as most of the violence against women takes place in homes and private apartments and private residences. Another regulation designed to protect the women (or others) in prostitution is housing. From now on, women must have another place to sleep, other than the room in the brothel where they receive the prostitutes. On the one hand, this may improve the welfare of women in prostitution but on the other hand, they are now required to rent and finance additional accommodation. They must also be Having a permanent post office address There are already proposals (including by lawyers) to provide women in prostitution with a post office box address for a fee [xvi] . New Zealand New Zealand defines its form of regulation as "decriminalization", the model favored by the sex industry lobby. This legislation has been enforced in New Zealand since 2003 by virtue of the Prostitution Reform Act 2003 [xvii] . The difference between "decriminalization" and "legalization" of Germany and the Netherlands is mainly in the way, in which the supporters of the sex industry describe their ideological basis. In their view, "legalization" is intended to minimize the inevitable damages of the sex industry, while "decriminalization" treats the sex industry as another service industry. The purpose of the legalization model (Holland, parts of Australia, Germany, Switzerland) is to recognize the sex industry as a phenomenon that cannot be eradicated, but its damage can be minimized. To this end, laws are enacted whose purpose, at least in theory, is to ensure the minimization of harm (Harm reduction - another term that stars in discussions). For example, in the Netherlands the prostitutes have to ask the women for a work license (to make sure they are not victims of trafficking), and in Germany the women have to renew their license once every two years and while meeting the representatives of the authorities and receiving advice. The goal of the decriminalization model (New Zealand, New South Wales in Australia) is to turn the sex industry into "another service industry". This model in its purest form does not recognize essential differences between the sex industry and the restaurant industry or the cosmetic treatment industry. Within its framework, the sex industry is subject to general regulation - labor legislation, tax laws, Ministry of Health regulations and other regulations, but on a theoretical level, it is not about the regulation of brothels specifically, but the regulation of another business activity. Will there be visits by health ministry inspectors? So what, the food industry also has health checks. A brothel is closing? It's not because it's a prostitution apartment, it's because there was a business activity that disturbed the neighbors. Are there restrictions on advertising? Obviously, the advertising of alcohol products is also limited. Despite the fundamental differences, these two models are similar or almost identical. Under both models mediation activities, such as pimping and running brothels, can be legal if they meet the requirements of the law. Under both models, a person wishing to open a brothel must apply for a license. If he accepts - he will have to adhere to regulatory requirements that vary from country to country, and of course pay taxes. The women in prostitution can be hired by the brothel owners, freelancers who work in the brothel, or completely independent; In practice, it is almost impossible to find women in prostitution who get paid. Under both models, the women in prostitution are required to pay taxes every month and meet the regulatory requirements. Both models make the sex industry a part of the local economy, from which taxes flow to the state and local authorities. It can be said that the "decriminalization" model is not applied in its pure form in New Zealand either. Despite the liberal regulation, the state institutions recognize that the sex industry is not "another service industry". For example, the employment bureaus do not refer job seekers to prostitution and it is not possible to see a "spillover" of prostitution services to other industries. Also "labor migration" for the purpose of engaging in prostitution does not exist in New Zealand. Anyone who engages in prostitution and is not a resident of the country - breaks the law. The attempt to allow in the immigration law for the purpose of engaging in this prostitution was done in the past but was unsuccessful, among other things due to the fear of creating a legal route for human trafficking. The local authorities even made attempts to limit the practice of prostitution to certain areas. The Prostitution Reform Act 2003 even requires the prostitute to enforce the use of condoms, and a fine of 2000 New Zealand dollars is imposed on the violator of this section [xviii] . In some ways, New Zealand law is more liberal than the German one. For example, it does not require women to be licensed or registered of the type required in Germany as of 2016, and it allows brothels of less than 4 women to operate without a license. Is it for the better? Not everyone knows. The local prostitution survivor organization Wahine Toa Rising [xix] reports the prevalence of violence in legal brothels and the minors held in them. According to the organization, the complete lack of supervision is a breeding ground for exploitation and violence. ​ ​ Summary [i] https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2003/0028/latest/DLM197871.html [ii] https://www.ilo.org/dyn/natlex/natlex4.detail?p_lang=en&p_isn=104014&p_count=6&p_classification=22 [iii] Basically, all income is taxable, not just income from legitimate work. Therefore, even in a country that does not recognize prostitution as a profession, a woman in prostitution may be required to pay tax. In practice, enforcement [iv] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-49890471 [v] https://en.qantara.de/content/prostitution-in-tunisia-the-big-reveal [vi] Farley, Melissa, ed. (2007). Prostitution and trafficking in Nevada: making the connections. San Francisco: Prostitution Research and Education [vii] http://spl.ids.ac.uk/sexworklaw/countries [viii] https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2003/0028/latest/DLM197855.html [ix] [ix] https://business.gov.nl/starting-your-business/checklists-for-starting-a-business/starting-as-a-self-employed-sex-worker-in-the- netherlands/ [x] https://foreignpolicy.com/2019/02/19/its-legal-to-sell-sex-in-amsterdam-but-dont-expect-the-same-rights-as-other-self-employed -workers-netherlands-legal-prostitution-sex-workers/ [xi] https://www.academia.edu/574175/Placing_Prostitution_Formalizing_the_Spatial-Sexual_Order_of_Amsterdam [xii] https://www.irishtimes.com/news/amsterdam-s-mayor-puts-the-squeeze-on-red-light-district-s-fat-charlie-1.1290865 [xiii] https://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/24/world/europe/24amsterdam.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all [xiv] https://www.rug.nl/research/portal/files/54718516/Post_Brouwer_Vols_Regulation_of_Prostitution_in_the_Netherlands_final_version.pdf [xv] https://www.prostituiertenschutzgesetz.info/ [xvi] https://nordicmodelnow.org/2019/01/13/prostitution-law-in-germany-regulation-for-taxation/?fbclid=IwAR25mtjd_bAOTD01z7G43ZMH_PxXKqMgtzF73eP0KlkBECf4N0Gkx0lq3jo [xvii] https://www.parliament.nz/mi/pb/research-papers/document/00PLSocRP12051/prostitution-law-reform-in-new-zealand/ [xviii] http://1425f57e-5a05-4bdc-8183-747efed61d9f.filesusr.com/ugd/7f14e6_e427c650927141b9b9a2cfed936e1ca1.pdf [xix] https://www.facebook.com/WahineToaRisingAotearoa/ [X] The source is the TAMPEP organization, an organization that treats sex trafficking as a legitimate business and work. The real number may be higher ​ חזרה

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Family Relations and Prostitution # Prostitution and neglect in childhood "Nobody ever cared about me, I was nobody's girl" (from the testimony of a prostitution survivor) Quite a few women who came to us suffered from parental neglect in their childhood. Neglect unlike abuse is not an active act (like violence or sexual abuse of a child) Neglect is indifference, ignoring, passivity and the lack of protection for a child. Neglect has many definitions and cultural differences between policies (the laws that define neglect differ from country to country) and because it is less visible to the eye, the researchers claim that the field of "neglect has been neglected" and for many years they did not pay attention to it due to its being "under the radar". It is usually divided into 5 categories: "therapeutic neglect" (inability to provide basic needs such as food) "Environmental neglect" (dangerous living environment), "Educational neglect" (lack of concern for the child's intellectual development and education), "Medical neglect" (lack of health care), "supervisory neglect" (a situation in which a parent abandons the child or exposes him to factors that may physically or sexually abuse him, injure him, etc.). Neglect has many faces and forms, and does not exist in a vacuum. Some researchers claim that its results are no less serious than active abuse. Some of the reasons for entering the circle of prostitution as minors are related to the fact that neglected girls receive attention from pimps and prostitutes, to "warmth and love", attention and compliments that they did not receive before. A 2018 meta-analytic study by Mulder and his colleagues found that "lack of supervision" neglect is the most common, over 72% of the neglect reports dealt with this. ​ ​ # Prostitution and relationships after rehabilitation Many survivors share with us the difficulty of maintaining healthy marital relationships after recovering from a life of prostitution. This requires a special effort on both sides. The survivor is required to be able to place emotional trust in the partner, trust him and surrender without being triggered by triggers. And from the partner - to accommodate, understand the difficulty and go at the pace of the partner. Since prostitution is a continuous sexual trauma, its damage affects marital life and courage and patience are needed to overcome the challenges. In her beautiful way, a young survivor writes to us about her relationship: "My stomach is inflamed, my heart is pus, And you are here next to me, all the time touching And I scream And you don't understand When your hand touches the fire can you not hurt not to scream in pain? you are not normal dreamer delusional out of control You don't understand, do you? Everything is inflamed You touch a little And the stomach is burning My chest is burning And I fight - not to be defeated again As usual, my throat fights back becomes narrow and suffocating Have you ever tried to hold your breath? I do, but not by choice The air is running out Every organ burns and closes on me Until the body defeats the remnants of logic The voice rushes out of the throat The tears wash away all the pain that has ever been created inside me. And you're on the couch staring in a panic I understand - I was also scared for the first time. ​ ​ # Prostitution and sexual abuse in childhood by mothers There is an unspoken issue, paralyzed and hidden under the surface, like all sexual injuries. Some researchers link between childhood sexual abuse by fathers in their daughters and prostitution, evidence of this can be found in the huge numbers of women victims of incest in prostitution. But there is sexual abuse that can also lead to prostitution - mothers harming their daughters. These vulnerabilities are less known, less recognized and less talked about, but they are not as rare as is commonly thought. Mothers' vulnerability to girls sometimes occurs under the guise of physical care and concern (For example, a mother bathing her child). Whether due to homophobic reasons or due to the myth that all mothers in the world are benevolent and loving, the issue is not talked about or treated enough and the public is not aware of it. But as vulnerable as it is, it also leads to a severe trauma that is sometimes embodied in adulthood in prostitution, just like in being hurt by men. ​ ​ # What do the childhoods of women in prostitution who were given up for adoption or raised in foster care feel? part 1 Before us is a sad testimony of an impressive woman who shares her feelings with us.  "The woman who gave birth to me was a prostitute. Writes and deletes, corrects: she was in the circle of prostitution. Sitting and writing in a coffee shop in an industrial area in the city of Sharon, not far from the hospital where she gave birth to me (I want to write "medical center" and laugh in my heart: medical bullshit. How can you heal such an injured mind and body? A waiter smilingly serves me "morning all day", an omelet and a festive salad with tahini and grain bread, and I choke back tears in my throat, who knows if she has ever had a hot meal, if she has ever had nutritional security in her life. The universe continues to tease me and challenge the tears that are already hard for them when Michael Kiwanuka's Home Again plays in the background. I wonder if there was a single day in her life when she felt at home. that she received a good and pure love, a free love that does not depend on anything, a day when they hugged her without hurting or touching the parts that were only hers, if they asked her how she was, if she had a warm bed, comforting food and one memory that makes the heart happy. I always knew I was adopted. Only the second time I opened the adoption file did I get full confirmation that the woman who gave birth to me was part of a prostitution ring. By the way, even then (when I'm already a 29-year-old woman, 11 years after the first time I was there) it still wasn't explicitly said. Because even the child service official who knew her, according to her, is unable to say such a word. A prostitute is marginal, it is far from us, it is her, it is not us. The twist that happened recently is the discovery that I suddenly agreed to feel now: it is not only her who was part of the prostitution ring, it is also me who was born as a result of severe violence and rape. It's an intergenerational communication that passed and passes to me involuntarily, and involuntarily because of a man or a million who felt owned. who slaughtered and trampled and destroyed and broke and murdered so many souls. Amounts of injustices that continue to happen and may never stop. And now a call from the garage: "The car is ready, it passed the test. You can come pick it up." I'm glad it was quick, less than two hours in which I got so much done. Hangs up and wonders if she ever had freedom of movement, if she could get from place to place on her own, or if she always needed the approval of a man-monster who determined when and where she would go. About two weeks ago I found the book "Far from the Tree - Parents and Children and the Search for Identity", by Andrew Solomon. I read it with eagerness and sadness at the same time, finding words of research that at the same time give knowledge that strengthens confidence, also shake and crush my soul that so longs to know more and more and more. And the thought of the amount of injustices that happen in this world does not give rest. Even the thought that she is already dead and feels nothing and her suffering has stopped is not reassuring, because who knows what caused her death and how much she suffered in her last moments. Was there anyone to bury her with dignity? To give her one last kiss on the forehead a second after she took her last breath? To say last words before the final farewell? To come sweep the tombstone? Who even cares about her proper condition in such cases? Sometimes I want to die with her just for one moment, get back into her womb and ask for everything to stop, to stop hurting her, to let her rest. I want us to rest together and for everything to calm down for a second. just for one moment. Asking for an account, the tears can no longer hold. closing I'll come back later." ​ part 2 Following on from the previous post written by the daughter of a survivor who was taken for adoption, below is the continuation of her response: "Starting by saying thank you. Thank you for every like, heart, crying emoji or hug. Thanks for any and all feedback. I read everything, I saw every like. I also felt the members of the community who are my friends and acquaintances in life outside of Facebook and did not respond to maintain my privacy. I also saw someone who asked for permission to take what I wrote outside the group and distribute it for the benefit of public relations and raising awareness. I thought about it a lot, and decided I needed my time to do it my way. Guarantees that the repair and healing will be done, the world will know. My biological mother brought me into this world to make amends, and that is stronger than me. In part it's not even about me, I'm just the tool, the conduit, to pass it on. No, I haven't found the answers yet, I'm just looking for a place in my memories [...] No, I haven't forgotten where I came from and where I'm going, If I moved away, it's because I was looking for a place for your sake' (place, Hanan Ben-Ari). Crying tears of disintegration every time you hear Hanan Ben-Ari sing it. Even if it is several times in the same day. Actually, I never forgot her. Even as a child when I still had no idea why I was given up for adoption, even when I opened the adoption file and discovered scraps of information. The thought of the suffering she suffered, of the impossible life she had, does not let up. And suddenly, in the moments of the day when my strength is zero, when I'm nervous, tired and unmotivated, I think it's worth giving one more little effort. for her Because even if I don't have the strength to get in the car and go to work, or it's hard for me to convince my beloved son to do something, I close my eyes and think about her. I do it for her. Because she had no freedom of movement, certainly not a car. I get up in the morning and go to work, leaving my heart soft and open, the money I earned is only mine. No one will ever take it from me. my son is mine forever. All the time, no matter what. No one will take it from me. He sleeps with me, he wakes up with me, he tells me: Mom, I love you the most out of all the people in the world. I will never stop loving you! Remember this for the rest of your life!". That's what he tells me. And together with him I have another family and friends and a whole life, which she didn't have. So my life is full. Thanks to my parents who waited so many years until they accepted me, and gave me a whole world But also a lot thanks to her. And besides me there were other children she gave birth to and were taken from her, either by the establishment or by death. And the thought of being a mother to so many children who are not with her. The thought of not being sure if she knew who the fathers of each of the children were. But what does it matter if they are monsters in human form, if they are the embodiment of evil. The thought of the yelling and violence, the crying, the hunger that my biological brothers and sisters and I suffered while we were in the womb. Even before we went out into the air of this delusional world. All this does not give rest. It doesn't make sense, it's inhumane. It can not be!!! On page 539 of the book "Far from the tree - parents and children and the search for identity", by Andrew Solomon, there is a quote from a woman who describes how the representative of the establishment advised her not to report that the child is biracial, and not to report her drug use, so as not to reduce potential dates for adoption. It drives me crazy as an idea, and more than that - because it's personal. it's me. There is a high probability that this is what happened to my biological mother with me and with other children she gave birth to. How can it be?? How can it be that someone, a man, a representative of the establishment, takes responsibility for the lives of so many people? How can it be that a baby was born in a crisis and is not treated because it was not reported? On page 535 it is written that mothers in the ancient world and in the Middle Ages were allowed to abandon their children who were born as a result of rape - to die. Maybe it's a little reassuring that one of us is dead. It is better to die quickly and disappear from an inferno like the one you were born into. But how did he die? Someone couldn't stand a newborn crying when he raped the mother so he killed him? Did he die of hunger and cold? Who even buries a baby like that? How do you bury a baby like that? Did she know where he was? I have no idea. ​ ​ # Do women in prostitution reproduce a bad parental model for their children? Many of the women in prostitution were raised as children by abusive mothers at worst or dysfunctional and helpless at worst (there are also benevolent mothers, but this is rarer). Growing up in the shadow of such a mother does not produce a successful parental model for an adult daughter and the signals of the relationship between the two and its influence resonate in women for life. However, this says nothing and a half about the parenting of a prostitution survivor. Women in prostitution can be wonderful, protective, giving and loving mothers who strive to correct everything they experienced as children and enable a normal and pleasant childhood for their children. On the other hand, there are also those who will restore their parentage: they will neglect and abuse. It is impossible to know and predict in advance how a woman will function as a mother, and any such hypothesis does injustice to women. In other words: the fact that a woman is in prostitution, the daughter of an abusive mother, is not conclusive evidence of the mother she is in any way. *The post was written in collaboration with B, the survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and loneliness during the holidays And this is what a survivor wrote to us this week: "Don't be a whore in this house" my mother told me. I don't spend holidays with my family. You can say that from the age of 18 I went maybe four times. Today I called my mother to find out why I'm not invited to the holidays (not that I intended to go.. but still) She said "You can't mix in the family, there are children at home and brothers who have built families, it's not healthy for anyone to get close to you. You can't get involved in your situation.' As long as I'm in prostitution I'm probably contagious in something. I told her that maybe warmth and family could have been a motive to get me out of drugs and prostitution, I said it to touch her. The loneliness of the holidays comes from this feeling they give me... like I'm a leper." Passover in general, and Seder night in particular, symbolizes for many and many of us an atmosphere of festivities, family, holiday meals and fellowship. At the same time, there are many women among us for whom this period is not a holiday and certainly not a joy. For these women, holidays in general, and Passover in particular, are a time that symbolizes sadness, pain, loneliness, alienation and loss. Many prostitution survivors are separated from their families - either by their own initiative or by the family's initiative. For them, the family is not the safe, loving and protected place, but the place that most of all hurt them, abandoned and betrayed them. What is even more terrible is that it is not enough to be without a family in the world, many of the above families also alienate themselves from the damage they themselves caused, deny the damage and blame the survivors because they are the ones who are damaged, sick and problematic. Thus, the survivors are tasked with a double journey - also dealing with the very absence of family during a period that is all family and holiday, this alongside the knowledge that in those hours of the holiday eve, when they will be alone, while most of the people are celebrating around the holiday table - their family will also be around the holiday table - enjoy, Celebrate and eat holiday foods, and above all act as if everything is fine - without thinking about them at all - as if nothing happened. In light of this, for many survivors the days before Passover constitute one of the most complex and difficult periods of the year - with Seder night being the peak of this. Know that we are with you in our thoughts *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ חזרה למידע והסברה

Rehabilitation # Prostitution and real rehabilitation Does finishing advanced studies and finding a job in the free market mean rehabilitation and opening a new path in life? One of the common mistakes that repeats over and over again is the assumption that if someone has completed academic/professional studies and found a job in their field of study, then they decided to make a "change" and successfully followed through on their decision. It seems that the reason for this belief stems from a wrong social perception that prostitution is only a matter of financial hardship, and therefore the way out of prostitution is to adopt a "normative" life expectancy - such as a decent job and advanced studies. In fact, quite a few women, due to the dissociation mechanisms they adopted in their childhood, and which allowed them to function alongside the reality of abuse and neglect - even in their adulthood are able, at least for certain periods of their lives, to live a double life. That is, a life that includes being in the world of prostitution alongside leading a normative life of advanced studies or work. It is important for us to clarify that even if a woman left the world of prostitution, and managed despite all the difficulties to integrate into academia or a job that is considered respectable - even then this does not necessarily indicate rehabilitation. Even after actually leaving the world of prostitution, the mental difficulties that women have to deal with are deep and wide - and even then, many times what makes functioning possible are the disconnection mechanisms - which make it possible to display exemplary functioning even when the emotional world is dismantled. We do not mean to exclude those who are studying or working as part of a profound change and as part of a significant rehabilitation process, but we do want to emphasize that prostitution is a violation of trust, in the relationship between a person and those around him. Therefore, real rehabilitation (rehabilitation and not change!), one that produces a change that is not apparent, must include much more than "occupational rehabilitation" or financial assistance - but rather a profound emotional process that accompanies life - which will help to build the self from the ruins of the past, as well as help to try restore trust in the world. * The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" surviving our community. ​ ​ # prostitution and help Whether you've been in the group for a short period of time, or whether it's been years, you've probably read various posts - of first-person testimonies or posts asking for help. These posts often reflect the acute, concrete and emotional distress that survivors often find themselves in. In light of the emotional difficulty that these posts evoke in readers, many times the instinct is the desire to save the woman, not stand by and remove her from the circle of prostitution. At the same time, it must be remembered that receiving aid is a complex matter. It can be assumed that many of them will be able to understand the complexity involved in getting help, and maybe even identify with it - but for women in prostitution, getting help is often much more difficult than for the general population. This difficulty arises because many of the women in prostitution have lost basic trust - both in humans, and in the ability to allow themselves, or even imagine, a different future. Many of them do not recognize a reality in which someone can be there for them without asking for anything in return, and due to the damaged trust in relation to the world - they find it difficult to accept this thought. That's why we in the community make sure to go "at their pace". That is, we try not to push, when the main message we convey is "We are here. When you want - if you want, we will know how to connect with those who need it to get out of this world.' Some of them are not interested in rehabilitation - at a specific stage or at all. This lack of responsiveness often leaves us frustrated and helpless. However, at the same time we also understand how difficult, long and arduous this journey is. Therefore, we always continue to lend a hand and go with everyone at their own pace. This giving of a hand, is often the one that proves what most of the time it is already possible to even dare to dream - that there is a place in the world of unconditional acceptance, of a home and of a back - that as long as the woman wants, she is no longer alone in the world. It is interesting that sometimes the very giving itself, without any demand, is the one that restores - even if only a little - the ability to believe in what never existed or was accessible in their world. Building this capacity, although it is not a stated goal of the association, is the one that many times gradually enables the opening of the door to other lives, to hope and faith - in humans, and in the world in general. * This post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" surviving our community society. Thank you. ​ ​ # Prostitution and spouses in rehabilitation processes This time we will dedicate this post to the role of spouses in the rehabilitation process of prostitution survivors. We know that quite a few survivors ask their spouses to join this group and read posts to understand them better. This post is for you. We do not believe in the legend of the "knight on the white horse, the one who saves a woman" - in fact, no one can save anyone in connection with prostitution, if the person himself does not want, can and is able to receive help. At the same time, it is important for us to say that supporting the spouse is a critical component in the rehabilitation of a survivor. So how do you support? Here are some tips:  Don't judge or mention the past in prostitution with the terms "you chose", "you wanted" - but: "These were the circumstances of your life, you tried to help yourself in the way you could and knew, with the tools you had" Don't push the partner: "Let's go, the past, what was - was." Trauma has its own rhythm, it takes time to process the past, to be able to process and share. In everything related to sexuality - understand and respect the space, contain the triggers and be as careful as possible. Honest communication is key: encourage your partner to share what is appropriate and what is not. You should get specific professional advice on this complex issue. You are not ashamed of your partner's past, but you certainly do not tell her story without her permission. This is her life and she is the one who will decide who to tell, how and when - and everything is under her control. Avoid probing and asking, preferring to say: "If you want, when you want, I'll listen to you, I'm here." We encourage you to be active partners in your partner's journey.  * The post was written in collaboration with A., a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # The first year out of prostitution Prostitution rehabilitation process is essentially similar to addiction rehab. All the habits of life change: the people around, the agenda, the routine changes. Everything. "It's not easy to change life from one end to the other, sometimes it feels like it's on the border of the impossible" survivors shared with us. Quite a few "stumbles" occur mainly when there are psychological "urges" to return there, certain triggers that float and rise or there is an economic need that sends one back to this world. Fortunately, as time passes without prostitution, it is easier to overcome and it becomes a task that feels "almost impossible" to "possible". Wishing everyone the best of luck, sending hugs and strength in this complex journey. You are not alone ​ ​ ​ Back

Questions and answers - Law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution Questions and answers regarding the law prohibiting the use of identity on behalf of the Ministry of Justice's spokespersons, information and communication division. 07/05/2020 What does the new law stipulate? The Law Prohibiting the Consumption of Prostitution (Time Order and Amendment of Legislation), 2019-2019 states that anyone who consumes prostitution or tries to consume prostitution commits a criminal offense. This is a new offense that is added to the criminal offenses that already exist in the Penal Code in connection with the phenomenon of prostitution in which the consumption of prostitution reduces, pimping, advertising services Prostitution and keeping a place for prostitution. What is the main purpose of the new law? To bring about the reduction of prostitution in Israel and its eradication as much as possible through the establishment of a ban on the consumption of prostitution, as part of an integrated process that includes enforcement actions, education and information to the public and the expansion of treatment and rehabilitation methods for populations in prostitution (the rehabilitation and treatment plan), in recognition of the offensive characteristics of prostitution and the damages involved in it. Why does the law punish the consumers of prostitution and not those who engage in prostitution? The guiding concept of the law is that those who are in the circle of prostitution are victims, and the state must help them. That is, the law will prohibit the consumption of prostitution, but there will be no punishment for A. Women who engage in prostitution. This concept is typical of the "Nordic model", which exists in countries such as Sweden and Norway. Accordingly, along with the enactment of the law and the enforcement actions, a government decision was made allocating significant resources to the ministries of health, welfare and education in order to form suitable agents for the assistance, treatment and rehabilitation of those engaged in prostitution as well as to promote public and social awareness. What will be the punishment for those who break the law? According to the new law, an offense against the law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution is an offense for which an administrative fine of 2,000 NIS can be imposed. In the case of a repeat offense, this fine will be doubled and will amount to NIS 4,000. It should be noted that those who have been fined can request a trial instead of paying the fine. If the offense is committed under aggravating circumstances or a large number of times (starting from three times or more), it will be possible to file a criminal charge against a person who consumed prostitution, and at the end of the trial a fine of up to NIS 75,300 can be imposed on him. In the case of consumption of prostitution by a minor, the Penal Code already states today that this is an offense punishable by five years in prison. How will the enforcement be carried out? Can a police officer decide to impose a fine as soon as the crime is detected? Yes, the police will carry out the enforcement through police officers, detectives and investigators who have been trained for this purpose and have undergone training and preparation adapted to the new law. According to the law, a police officer will be entitled to impose the fine on a person who is found to be committing the crime of consuming prostitution or who is staying in a complex where prostitution services are provided. Will the offense be recorded in the criminal record of the person who will be fined? The report will be recorded in an internal administrative register managed by the Israel Police, prepared for the police's internal surveillance needs, for example in the case of a repeat offense. How many women/men engage in prostitution in Israel? About 14,000 women, including about 11,500 adults and about 1,100 minors, and about 550 men, including about 40 minors. According to the data of the national survey carried out for the Ministry of Welfare and the Ministry of Internal Security in 2016, only 7% of prostitution services in Israel are provided in street prostitution, with most prostitution arenas operating in various settings under one roof such as discreet apartments, brothels, massage parlors, etc. What are the punishments that will be given to those in the circle of engaging in prostitution? The government has committed to a series of tortures to be given to prostitutes with a total budget of NIS 90 million, some of which have already begun to operate through the ministries of welfare, health and education. The rehabilitation and treatment program for prostitutes will include, among other things: a flexible torture basket of about NIS 10,500 per individual, in which emphasis was placed on transgenderism, including torture for debt assistance, medical needs, temporary housing and other torture; The establishment of day centers in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv for the needs of those engaged in prostitution; rehabilitation apartments for mothers and transitional apartments; Running a prevention program, preventive education for youth; Hospitalization alternative for women as needed; This, alongside rehab programs for men who are addicted to prostitution, and other torturers. * The data from the national survey on the phenomenon of prostitution in Israel conducted for the Ministry of Internal Security and the Ministry of Welfare in 2016 חזרה

Terms & Definitions # Prostitution as a sequence Is virtual sex through cameras prostitution? Does marrying a rich man you can't stand mean prostitution? Is nudity prostitution? As we wrote before - fornicate many faces (and arenas). This claim also allows an opening for discussions about what constitutes "real" prostitution and what is considered legitimate and reasonable. It is convenient for us to divide the world into black and white, what is true and what is assigned. This division helps us to create order, even if simulated - and more than order, this division helps us in preserving the feeling of a safe world, while removing from our awareness the normalized injustices that occur in it all the time and without interruption. However, it is important that we know - life is not black and white, but contains complexity within it. In other words, prostitution is often a continuum. The meaning of this is that even if a woman is on a certain platform, the dynamics of the industry often means that this platform will be a steep slope to enter other, distinct and more obvious platforms. More than that, it was said - many of the women did not enter into its depths directly, unless in a slow, but also steep, process of deterioration down the continuum. At the same time, it is important to emphasize - we do not see the problem as lying solely in the potential for deterioration along the continuum. We hold the position that any act of selling the body, even if it does not include physical contact or is not defined as prostitution in its clear sense, constitutes exploitation of distress. This understanding can be startling, as it opens a window to the understanding that each and every one of us can be on the continuum of fornication to one degree or another, and not one of us is immune from being on this continuum. If so, does this indicate that a substantial share of the female population is on the continuum of prostitution? Our answer is that by "not standing" we will allow a woman to define herself and we will not interfere in her definitions. However, the claims that we will not accept or believe are arguments that there are manifestations of prostitution as empowerment and choice on the continuum. Our position can perhaps be perceived as an internal contradiction. Some would even argue that this is privileged and arrogant feminism. We recognize these claims, and in spite of them we see our position as precisely reflecting the understanding of the complexity of the prostitution continuum, in its multitude of manifestations, while taking the firm position that prostitution is always sexual violence, exploitation and harm - in any place, in any space - even if it is considered legitimate and normalized. The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and language Language represents thoughts and social attitudes, so let's examine the different terms and offer alternatives: "Escort girl" - a term designed to glorify traumatic sex with strangers by blurring the traumatic component and replacing it with a refined and glamorous term. In practice, we are not talking about glamorous girls, but girls, girls and women in need, who certainly do not accompany anyone anywhere - but are exploited. "Sex worker"/"service provider" - a capitalist term designed to normalize prostitution and present it as a profession like all professions, on the same level as professions such as saleswoman/lawyer/teacher (only we don't know that you need special training or experience to "engage" in prostitution). Slut/exotic/prostitute - terms that reflect the social perception of the low moral level of those women, and in light of that - the legitimacy of denigrating these women, a legitimacy that alleviates our social feelings of guilt. Customer/client/man who pays for sex: additional capitalist terms designed to give us a sense of normative commercial relations, as a normal transaction between a service provider and a client, buying and selling, and not in the law of souls. The correct terms: Survivor of prostitution, woman in prostitution, victim of trafficking, women in the sex trafficking industry. And also: adulterer! *The post was written in collaboration with 'Shelgia' surviving our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and feminism We will try to put some order in the confusing terms. Feminism, like all schools of thought, has different currents, sometimes complementary and sometimes opposing each other. Someone can define herself as a feminist and see prostitution as a celebration of female power and sexuality, control over the male gaze, etc. And someone can define herself as a feminist and see prostitution as a place of female oppression, exploitation of disadvantaged situations, and the like. This group belongs to the second stream, called more than once: radical feminism (since it is identified with the second wave of feminism in the 1970s in the US and Europe). Although among us there is nothing radical in demanding that our body not be an object ​ ​ # Prostitution and prostitution rings Deniers of the harms of prostitution will explain to you that there is a very big difference between street prostitution and "escort girls". The prevailing claim in society is that prostitution has many faces (and arenas). According to this claim, alongside the existence of street prostitution in which there is no doubt that there is exploitation, as well as severe distress of the woman, there are many and other prostitution arenas where women are found who did not come to these areas out of distress, but out of choice and a desire to earn a lot of money. Compared to street prostitutes we are marketed as classy women, quality girls or escort girls - nicknames that emphasize differentiation and separation from the image of the poor woman found in street prostitution. This, of course, makes it possible to strengthen the narrative of choice, normativity and wealth - a narrative that enables the continuation of the denial of hardship and exploitation even in the Eli spaces. The working conditions in the institutes, in the discreet apartments and on the street are different, but in many ways it is only a different setting that hides from our interests the exploitation and violence embodied in this world: long shifts, paying percentages to the landlord and of course having sex with complete strangers. The marketing of these spaces as high-quality and prestigious allows the pimps to attract an additional audience while pretending that this is not an underworld, but a high-quality and completely normative business. Hereby we emphasize - hierarchy does not exist in the world of prostitution!! Prostitution is exploitation and a crime - everywhere and in every space. Therefore, all the different spaces - the prestigious, the professional and the considered - can be grouped into one term, and it is: a space of harm that is disguised, normalized, and transparent - mostly transparent, because how easy it is to deny the truth - as long as possible. *The post was written in collaboration with 'Shelgia' a survivor of our community. ​ Back

Rape Culture #  The woman's body as a consumer product  One of the main problems in prostitution is treating the female body as a commodity. The body is broken down into smooth parts ("So how's her chest? And how's her ass?" asks a consumer of prostitution and allows himself criticism as if he were present at a restaurant "It's too big and I ordered a small one")/ The subject becomes an object. It doesn't matter how someone feels today, whether they want to or don't want to, tired or sad, angry or hungry - no meaning for them to be human. Women in prostitution are a collection of parts big or small, white or black, fit or not. #  Jokes about prostitutes Maybe we are "dryers" and "heavy" disgruntled feminists who don't understand a good joke, but we admit that it is hard for us to hear how our sisters are laughed at. We in the community always shudder at the question of the word prostitution for the purpose of derogatory expression, laughter or disdain - such as "whore house", "prostitutes", "your mother is a prostitute" or the definition of prostitution as "light work" that she hired on the side. These ways of expressing themselves, which have become part of everyday slang, are serious and require consideration in themselves, but unfortunately, this is not the end of the injustice done, and over the years - in the shadow of insult and shame and in the absence of protection from society - mocking slang has spread, deepened and spread - beyond derogatory language, to jokes as well of real for the public's enjoyment. Are these equally invalid phenomena? Or is there another aspect of deepening the injury? From the words of our "Shelgia", a survivor of our community: "I'm already used to cursing and derogatory names, I mean - I got used to it, not because it's normal - but because the company is sick, but when there are these jokes that ask what a prostitute screams when they hurt her (for those who don't know: save me, they're breaking into my business) - and everyone laughs. I have never been able to get used to this - probably because here it is not only the humiliation and dehumanization of those who are imprisoned there, but because the essence of the joke rests on the understanding that it is clear to everyone that prostitution can never be a business or trade - and still, still, instead of denouncing the phenomenon - still, despite Everything - even when the truth is clear, it still seems so natural and logical to everyone that I, I am the object of ridicule, I am the object of insults and jokes." #  Is a surrogate prostitution? Is it possible to use prostitution as a therapeutic practice? Well, this is an interesting question that recently came up on the net following a mother who sent her autistic son to get paid sex services. We admit that the surrogate issue occupied us quite a bit, but we received the best answer from D., who wrote to us as follows: "I am a survivor of prostitution and it is completely clear to me that surrogacy is a traumatic practice that has no essential difference from prostitution. It is no coincidence that we sometimes meet survivors of prostitution that started there. Prostitution is not traumatic because of its stigmas, but because no person can put into his body the genitals of strangers he is not attracted to without going crazy. Sex can exist without love but not without attraction. The fact that that surrogate has to sleep with people with real problems doesn't make it any easier. It's only more demanding and exhausting. Each of us prefers a normal adulterer who injects and takes out and goes through a tedious mask of managing emotions and fakery.  We don't care if the hooker has a PhD. We don't care if it is "supervised", this supervision oversees institutionalized sexual exploitation so what is it worth. When you have to sleep with a person that no one else wants to sleep with, without a hint of sexual attraction - it's disgusting and scarring. Don't run away to the clichés "it's supervised", imagine yourself in this situation.' * The post was written in collaboration with D., a survivor of prostitution in our community. #  Prostitution and pimping of women among women It is common to assume that only men pimp women, while we also receive testimonies from women who tell us about pimping, cruel and just as bad as the men. Sometimes it's about women who were in prostitution in the past and "climbed" the chain of hierarchy, sometimes it's about identifying with the abuser and "switching roles" and sometimes it's about women with psychopathic traits, and sometimes the harm comes from exactly those who are supposed to protect - from mothers. Before us is a testimony (very difficult!!) of a survivor whose mother pimped her. It is important for her to spread the word so that more women will contact and tell their story and know that they are not alone: I had 1080 men in me every three months, I counted every one of them, every day 20 NIS 350, go to the room, get undressed and I'll come 200 for the pimp and 150 for the mother I finished , next in line please They called it a tick Every 10 minutes one leaves and then the next enters Must keep up 5 customers an hour, I don't have time to breathe And in the last few hours I wouldn't look at them anymore, first the money, Enter the room, undress and I'll come Dims the lights and looking at the ceiling while the tears are already flowing. As long as he finishes already, as long as he finishes already. to come next in line, I used to count from the beginning every day how much I had left to finish a working day. And when the 20th would come, I would already be out of breath. One last penetration, and I can take it easy the head and put it in the sick bed and wait for the next day. And every day the same count, there's a little more left, just 7 more and I'm done. Just 3 more and I'm almost gone And how pleased mom is, proud of me I'm such a good girl I save her, give her air to breathe. I'm a good whore, Now I'm finally loved" #  Prostitution in the ultra-orthodox community Many wonder how it is possible for prostitution to exist in a God-fearing population?! Well... it turns out that there are villains everywhere and in every community and it has nothing to do with the beliefs or morals that that community thinks about itself. Sometimes mature, ultra-orthodox and divorced women are seen by some men as "permissive" because they are not virgins and are not "anyone's wife". We know that quite a few divorced ultra-Orthodox women receive offers for paid sex from ultra-Orthodox men. In some cases the same women are taking care of children, hungry for money - and this is an opportunity to take advantage of a "weak link". It is important to note that we strive to avoid generalizations about entire populations or communities, but on the other hand, generalizations are valid in all directions - there is no reason to think that there are higher groups, where sexual exploitation of a woman's body does not occur. #  Prostitution, OnlyFans and other similar sites What's wrong with some provocative photos that make money from them?! What do we disgruntled feminists want from women who do this by choice?! Well, we have nothing against the women, we have a lot against those who consume prostitution, and Onely Pence is a solicitation platform for prostitution. Concepts of "choice" are complex concepts and not really interesting. What is important is a discussion of damages. Does the fact that someone sends very provocative nude photos to a stranger (it will always be super extreme because there is no demand for "vegetarian" photos) have consequences? The answer is of course yes!! The women share with us that they are constantly required to cross more and more the boundaries they set for themselves and mentally lose the few protections for their privacy. The invasion of personal space is not only virtual. It manifests itself in everyday reality and creates real traumatic damage. * The post was written in collaboration with Chen, a survivor of our community. #  Women in prostitution and communicating with foreign men Many of us claim (and rightly so) that "not all men". There are good men who would never even imagine taking advantage of women. However, many of the survivors say that they find it difficult to move around in the public space and walk without fear that there are men around (the voice of a man, the sight of a man - everything is a trigger). This means that sometimes it is not possible, for example, to get into an elevator with a strange man, talk to a man on the phone, etc. Some even avoid participating in family events. All this is a consequence of the trauma of prostitution and sexual vulnerability. Many survivors even find themselves "disengaging" (a term describing mental dissociation) when they meet men. We ask that you show sensitivity to their sensitivity: inform everyone you meet a survivor as far in advance as possible if there is a man around and prepare them mentally, ask for permission to share their space with a man, etc. as much as possible. * The post was written in collaboration with "Inbal", a survivor of our community. #  Prostitution and money Rape culture, which shapes public opinion on a large scale, often leads us to the wrong thinking that women in prostitution earn huge sums and live a life of wealth. Sometimes, in order to prove the righteousness of those who support this position, they usually provide data on possible "income" from prostitution. However, presenting dry data is not the distortion of reality as it actually exists in the world of prostitution. Even if we ignore the theft of the money by the pimps or exploitation by other violent parties, and assume that it is a 'handsome income', we at "Not Standing" come across many testimonies of women who fail to save the money and deal with it in a 'normal' manner. Moreover: quite a few of them are immersed in heavy financial debts. Many times we see that many write that these women have moral failings, an inability to postpone gratification, or alternatively there will be those who claim that all these women need is proper financial guidance. But is this about it? In these sources, is there a paradox in the 'high income' compared to the poverty data in which women in prostitution actually live? We claim that the picture is different. First, many of the women feel that money that comes as a result of prostitution is "dirty money". That is, money that needs to be disposed of - and preferably as quickly as possible. A survivor once shared with me that she set fire to a 200" bill she received from a customer because she felt it was dirty money. Second, a large number of women in prostitution feel the need to compensate themselves mentally after the act of prostitution. This emotional compensation is often expressed in financial expenditures on experiences or products defined as 'luxuries' (brand clothes, lavish meals, etc.). So she shared with me that she survives because after a shift at the institute she has to buy herself something expensive in order to feel that everything was worth it. Moreover, many women need to talk themselves out of prostitution using drugs and/or alcohol - which cost a lot of money. Also, for some women, mainly (but not necessarily) women who come from homes where they lived in poverty and lack, cash and instant money creates confusion by giving a false sense of wealth - and having to compensate for the deprivation they have lived in all their lives. We in the association see from our experience how much there is no blessing in the money that comes from prostitution, as well as the presence to understand every time anew that this is not money that produces financial security and peace of mind, but rather an illusory and addictive cycle, which slowly draws to a deep bottom of terror, foreclosures and debts. * The post was written in collaboration with "Shilgia", a survivor of our community society. #  Male prostitution Contrary to the prevailing myths, male prostitution is not consumed by women, and if it exists, it is in negligible numbers. I have not found research documentation on the phenomenon and field activists do not come across such ("Johnny and the Knights of the Galilee" for example is a comedy without a grip on reality). However, male prostitution definitely exists and is consumed by men who may or may not identify with the LGBT community. Male prostitution is also consumed by men who define themselves as straight and may even be married to a woman. Are the characteristics of men engaged in prostitution different from women? The answer to that is complex. We can point out that these are mostly very young men (sometimes minors), who most of the time come from disadvantaged backgrounds: for example, they are persecuted for their sexual orientation in the society in which they live (for example: Arabs or ultra-orthodox), come from a background of sexual abuse in childhood (like many women in prostitution ) and the like. The men in prostitution whom we met share their traumas with us just like the women, only our society does not always give them the legitimacy to present it and thus produces an untreated and untreated trauma. It is important to say that sexual exploitation is exploitation - no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity is. #  Human trafficking and the relationship to institutionalization policy Many think that there is no way to eradicate the sex industry and therefore it is worthwhile to adopt a "risk minimization" policy, recognize the phenomenon and institutionalize it - turn it into a "profession" for all intents and purposes. Of course, economic interests are involved (after all, the state also benefits from taxation). But is there a connection to human trafficking? The study of Jacobson and Kotsadam (Kotsadam & Jakobsson, 2003) identified a trend according to which in countries where institutionalized prostitution flourished, human trafficking also flourished and women from underprivileged areas of the world ended up in prostitution whether forced or not. What about Ukrainian emissions that will reach countries where there is an institution like the Netherlands and Germany? You do the math. #  Prostitution cameras A significant percentage of prostitution consumption takes place virtually, seemingly without contact and sometimes without a pimp/middleman. Is it also possible to point out damages in these situations? The answer is yes, even prostitution that does not include contact comes from the same difficult and dark places and entails the same prices per soul. Even in cam prostitution you have to detach, be dissociative to last, you have to pretend to enjoy yourself to sell an illusion. And this is how the survivor "Shelley" writes to us: "There is a dark space that you fall into. It's hard for me to explain this space. It is a space of endless loneliness, dissociation, disgust, hatred, doom. And working on the site made me feel this space. Just like in frontal prostitution where there is evidence to speak of - the shifts tolerated by me were ones where I drank alcohol or took tranquilizers. I never got addicted because it was important to me, so many shifts I suffered a lot and would cry without being noticed. As in frontal prostitution there are "better" and "less good" customers. I personally hated them all equally. But can understand what a good customer is and what a bad customer is. I think the space of doom is the same one, with different names. And it doesn't really matter where you are on the feeding continuum. So I think that in the end there is no difference, on an emotional level." #  brothels and institutes We have before us a testimony that contains difficult descriptions (!) that survives describing the mechanism from the inside: "Mechanics is a name that is not used It's called an apartment spa massage private accommodation, I think nobody wants to say that he came to the institute Finding it was very easy There are sites designed for this..such as tremendous sex, banana, finder You just have to log in and see job ads And in order for it to be legal to advertise, it must be stated that it is without sex, that there is no such thing There are the big institutes There are 10 girls on duty.. 250 massage with cum, 150 for the manager, 100 for the girl. If he wants sex 350 ..200 for a girl "A manager usually never comes to the business If he gets into trouble, there is a clerk who takes all the responsibility. Condoms are not thrown away there is a special bin outside in case the police come and there was no evidence of sex there They prepare us on the first day what to say if the police come...and of course we must not give the name of the manager/pimp A closing manager on a 50-entry shift, multiply by a hundred and fifty and he has more places The manager is remote and has cameras all over the place So he manages everyone like that I reach between five and twenty clients All kinds of people come..and in the institutes because of the cheap price, all the garbage comes A shift cannot pass without drugs and alcohol Because how can you have sex with someone who could be your grandfather and smell stinky and stinky and refuse to shower Flowing with deviations like I'm a little 15 year old girl I don't know many girls who are sober on duty You can't complain that you were raped or that you were forced to do something...even though it happens Situations where I asked the client to cease and desist And he didn't treat me until he got what he wanted And I would go out crying... they would tell me come on, it's not bad, the manager... and what are my feelings I am expected to be a robot But this is the case every shift It is a mistake to think that I make a lot of money there All the money goes on drugs all shift and alcohol I'm just getting into more debt I didn't choose it I always said Life chose it for me because I had no choice No one chooses to be in these institutes And that twenty men will have sex with me within 9 hours The more I do, the more the manager likes me Girls who complain that they don't flow with anyone or those who don't like them receive worse treatment from the clerk and the manager..." #  Prostitution and porn "Is porn prostitution?" This question comes to us many times, and unfortunately the answer is yes. Not only that, but it is documented and photographed prostitution, the kind that is preserved forever in the virtual memory, passing from hand to hand and "remembering" you even what you would like to forget over the years. One of the patriarchy's ways of "putting us all to sleep" is to create a feeling that there is no exploitation in porn and that we are talking about movie stars who earn a lot of money and enjoy every moment. In practice, these are very few "stars" and very many young women who are lured by various means into an abusive world in which, in addition to the promised trauma, they are also slightly offended (most of it will go to the producers/photographers/debaters, etc.). In addition, in the world of porn, the thrill threshold is high, and therefore, in order to be aroused, the women involved have to agree to particularly horrific and violent acts. Linda Lovelace "star" of the successful porn film "Deep Throat" from 1972. She came out against the porn industry over the years and claimed that when you watch "Deep Throat" you watch her being raped. #  Men in prostitution and post trauma It is important to recognize that women are not the only victims of the sex industry. Men, usually young boys, can also find themselves trafficked in their bodies. Most of the time, these are LGBT boys who, for various reasons, ran away from their home. Survivors of prostitution who were expelled from conservative societies that could not accept their sexual orientation, for example from the ultra-Orthodox religious sector or from Arab society, or those who fled from their (secular) homes where they were physically and sexually harmed, came to "Not Standing". It can be assumed that the common denominator is the absence of a family background. The street life, the economic hardship and the hardship are a fundamental factor in the detour of boys to prostitution. Whatever the reason, the male prostitution survivors, like the women, also suffer from symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - because, like any person, having sex with partners without minimal attraction causes psychological damage. We will end with Elad's words as he wrote them: "There is no doubt that the post-trauma due to engaging in prostitution is extremely acute. A lot of drugs went through my body in order to survive, I lived on the rape drug, 24/7 I had to consume ghb   which is a very common drug especially among service providers in the gay community. It's a drug that allows you to go into a dissociation (classic dissociation) and sometimes due to incorrect doses and because the drug no longer has an effect I would reach a state of fainting and then the whole house was robbed and this happened to me and my friends several times, waking up in a hospital after you don't remember anything is a lifelong scaring experience I think". *The post was written in collaboration with "Elad", a member of our community #  Prostitution and death Here is a post written several years ago by my dear friend, former survivor, Dana Levy. In my opinion, he explains perfectly in the words of someone who was there (this is not a support post nor the purpose of the post, it is important to her that we all understand) what do women die of in prostitution? Two more women in prostitution died recently. I'm sure many are asking themselves why this happens, why premature death is so common among prostitutes? I heard varied answers to my question. The apologists of the sex industry say - it's because of the drugs. Prostitution attracts women who take drugs, because that is where the big money needed to finance the drugs is found. They are drug addicts anyway, so they die and it has nothing to do with prostitution. These, by the way, are not the most cynical. I even heard "lawyers are dead too, the feminists just don't make a fuss about it", as if we had ever heard of a lawyer who hanged herself in the office where she lived and slept for a period of time, or about a lawyer who did not recover from grief after her baby was taken from her for adoption. Oh well. The liberals say - it's because of the working conditions. If we can only institutionalize prostitution, implement government supervision, make sure that the beds are clean and the prostitutes (well, they don't really say "prostitutes" but it doesn't matter) don't beat up - we will prevent the deaths of women. Even those who work against the sex industry sometimes say that the women in prostitution die because of the conditions - the beatings, the thirty customers a day, the violent aspect of sex. Unlike liberals, they understand that no amount of regulation can completely marginalize the sex industry - for there have never been anywhere enough normative women willing to "work" in prostitution, nor have there been anywhere enough moral men longing to be pimps. So it turns out that no matter how much we monitor, there will always be a huge shortage of "voluntary" prostitutes, and therefore there will always be scumbags with a business license who will run shadow prostitution of trafficked, minors and victims of severe violence. And yet the "conditions" are not the only problem, nor the main one. The women in prostitution don't die because of the "conditions", they die because of the prostitution itself. Sometimes prostitution leads the woman to the path of deterioration that seems to be the direct cause of death - and yet prostitution itself was the cause. Not all of them are aware of this, I've already heard activists say "in a perfect world, prostitution wouldn't bother me" without realizing that in a perfect world something so violent and offensive that you can actually die from it cannot exist. When did I realize that prostitution itself can kill? I was 22 or 23 years old and had been out of the circle for a while. I met at a party a consul of a European country with nicer people and all the stigmas. We met for a few dates, went to him, kissed, everything was wonderful and then he undressed. I saw before my eyes a body that physically rejected me. There was nothing unusually repulsive about him, and I bet that today I myself look worse naked than he does. But then I was 23 years old with a body made of photoshop, and next to me was a man about 40 years old, with a slightly loose body. I was disgusted, I didn't want to be with him. I shuddered at the thought of touching him. I wondered if I could still get into bed so as not to hurt and I couldn't. I apologized, muttered something about not being ready for sex yet and ran away. On the bus home, I wondered what had happened to me. I was in prostitution and slept with less handsome men, without the manners of a European consul, and I didn't shudder like that. the money? The friendship of this impressive man was worth more to me than the money I received at the time per Zenai. I wanted so badly to be the girlfriend of the great man of the world, but I couldn't progress to sex. And then it hit me. Call it repression, dissociation, rationalization. When you are in prostitution, you know in your heart that the man with the repulsive body turns you off, but you don't let yourself go deeper. You say: "Now I do it because this is my role in the world." And you do it again and again and again even though in your normal state you are, the exact same woman, with the same level of pickiness, running away as if a demon had entered you from the luxurious apartment of a charming man just so as not to touch him. Activating the mechanism that guarantees that you sleep with everyone, the men-much-less-attractive-than the consul, costs us dearly. Sex without attraction is a harmful and destructive thing. If it wasn't like that - we wouldn't mind sometimes sleeping with the boss just like we don't mind working a few extra hours; We would volunteer to have sex with populations in need as we volunteer to distribute food; And of course we wouldn't run away from charming men after we undressed. Of course, we are not always aware of the destruction of the mechanism. When you're inside, you survive. You are rationalizing. You say it's not terrible, and in the meantime the difficult experiences, which you would not have experienced in any other situation, accumulate there inside the soul and scar you. You are not in a false consciousness - you understand that you are not well, you know that you are not happy, that you drink too much and take too many drugs, and if not - then you are just not functional and can hardly drag yourself out of bed in the morning... but you drag and repress, you say "Wait, and the waitress is better off? The cashier is better off. This is life and we didn't come to enjoy it" until one day you already realize that you are beyond "not enjoying yourself", and you can do more and the damages that paid rape is allowed in you are obvious. Sometimes you find refuge in harder drugs, sometimes your mental health also deteriorates, and sometimes you just die. #  So what does a pimp look like? We imagine a monster, a terrifying man, a scarred face in the best Hollywood tradition that presents arch villains. In reality they look normal, a. women from the settlement. In the photographs we received from Surdut: the pimp can be seen with his one-year-old daughter on his shoulders, he smiles proudly at the camera - with a "father of the year" look. In another photo, a pimp, from the cruelty that exists according to the descriptions of survivors, plays with her two children on a carpet in the playroom. She smiles warmly at them. We wonder about the separation between being "normative" family members and the harm they inflict on women. What are they telling themselves?! The banality of evil… ​ #  Why is prostitution not a profession? If prostitution were a profession - experience in it would be an advantage - then everyone knows that in the world of work, in any job, the more you acquire a skill, the more your value increases. In prostitution, on the other hand, the value increases the more new and innocent a woman is! If prostitution was a profession - you would offer your children to work in it during the summer months and on vacations, there is no job that does not respect its owner, right?! If prostitution was a profession - would a significant percentage of those engaged in it need large amounts of drugs and alcohol in order to suppress the "work experience"? If prostitution were a profession - we would find in it women who experienced a normative and benevolent childhood, and we would not find in it a huge amount of women who were sexually/physically/mentally harmed in their childhood or very high percentages of women who experienced parental neglect as children. If prostitution was a profession - we would not find among the women in it: double morbidity, anxiety problems, depression, eating disorders, sleep disorders and more... If prostitution was a profession... but prostitution is not a profession, nor can it be - not now, and not ever. * The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" - a survivor of our community. # זנות כמלכודת דבש פעמים רבות אנחנו נחשפות למודעות פרסומת וכתבות מיינסטרים בעיתונות ובמדיה האלקטרונית (למשל זו שהתפרסמה השבוע במאקו) המספרות לנו עד כמה נשים ש״מעניקות שירותי מין״ נהנות מ'העיסוק', עד כמה אין בו בושה וכן שמדובר למעשה בעיסוק לגיטימי לכל דבר ועניין. בכלל כתבות אלו, לעולם מלווה לצד הסברים אלו הדגשה כי ה'עוסקות' בתחום זוכות לרמת חיים גבוהה במיוחד בזכות עיסוק זה. כך למשל מוסבר לא פעם כי בזכות ה'עבודה' ניתן לממן בקלות לימודים באקדמיה, טיול לדיסנילד, מכוניות פאר, החלפת מלתחה- ולמעשה- כל דבר שהאישה רק חופצת בו. עם זאת, אם מתבוננות בעין ביקורתית אודות תיאור אוטופי זה נוכחות לדעת כי למעשה עצם התיאור הוא לא יותר מכלי המשמש את הסרסורים, המחפשים כל הזמן ״דם חדש וצעיר״, למשיכת נשים נוספות לתעשיית הזנות. נרמול התופעה והצגתה כלגיטימית והגיונית עלולה לתת לנו את התחושה שהכל בסדר עם זה, ואולי אף מצוין- שכן, זוהי דרך להשגת כסף מהיר ואיכות חיים גבוהה (והרי כפי שאוהבים לומר לנו- לכל עבודה יש את המינוסים שלה). עם זאת, מה שלא מספרים לנו, שמדובר, כדבריה של אחת השורדות בקהילתנו: ״זה לא חתול בשק, זה בואש בשק״. המחיר אותו נדרשת האישה לשלם בנפשה וגופה, עולה לאין שיעור על רווחיה הכלכליים. במהרה מוצאת את עצמה האישה מחופרת עמוק בעולם אפל ונצלני , במצבי ניתוק (דיסוציאציה) - וכאם אלו אינם פועלים באופן הרמטי דיו- נדחקת האישה לשימוש בסמים, אלכוהול ועוד- זאת על מנת לאלחש את עצמה בכדי לשרוד את ״העבודה״. אנו, כמי שמכירות את נזקי הזנות, ונחשפות אליהם מדי יום ביומו, לא משתפות פעולה עם המיתוס אודות איכות החיים הגבוהה המתאפשרת כתמורה ל'עיסוק'. במילים אחרות נדגיש- זנות איננה עיסוק, אלא ניצול, אשר באופן חד משמעי מביא נשים לחיי גיהנום- וכל תיאור אחר בנושא הוא לא יותר מפיתיון, פיתיון מסוכן, אשר שולח עוד ועוד נשים אל עולם שגם אם מצליחות להיחלץ ממנו- הנזקים שהינו מחולל- נשארים לעד. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # זנות ו״הפקידה״ ב״לא עומדות״ נתקלנו לא אחת בתפקיד המכונה ״הפקידה״, זו שמאיישת את בית הבושת ומתאמת בין צרכן הזנות לאישה, מכניסה מגבות לחדרים, ״מוכרת שירות״ ולפעמים נאלצת בעצמה ״להיכנס לחדרים״ כשאין מספיק נשים במשמרת. מה שחשוב לנו לציין, שגם הפקידה היא חוליה מנוצלת בתעשיית המין. חשופה למראות של ניצול אחרות, חשופה לניצול בעצמה, חשופה ללא הגנה מול גורמים כמו המשטרה ולא אחת מואשמת בעצמה בסרסור (זאת כיוון שהסרסור מקפיד לא להגיע לשטח ומעדיף להעמיד מישהי שתמלא את מקומו מול הנשים, מול הזנאים ומול המשטרה אם תגיע). יש כאלו המנסות לעזור לנשים לתמרן בין זנאים שיכורים לסרסורים, וכאלו שמאמצות התנהגות סרסורית ונוהגות בגסות ולמעשה שותפות לפשע. מה שבטוח הוא שתעשיית המין היא תעשיה נצלנית ופוגענית וגם הפקידות המגיעות אלינו טראומתיות מאוד. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ש׳ , שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # ״שפת הזנות״ היום נפרסם שיר ששלחה לנו שורדת צעירה. היא מבקשת שננסה להבין שזנות היא סוג של ״שפה״ שמלמדים ילדות ונערות בגיל צעיר. שפה שנועדה להחפיץ את הגוף והשימוש בו. ״כשאת משתמשת בשפה העברית, האם את זו שבוחרת? או שכך לימדו אותך מיום היוולדך ואת לא מכירה שפה אחרת? אותך לימדו לדבר בעברית ואותי לימדו לדבר בזנות אותך לימדו שיש בתוכך עצמי ואותי לימדו שיש כאן רק גוף אותך לימדו שתמיד תוכלי לבחור עם מי תרצי להיות ואותי לימדו שכל אחד יוכל לבחור בי ואז גיל שמונה עשרה, שמונה עשרה שנים של שפת הזנות. התעוררות מגדל בבל מתרסק מולי כולן מדברות עברית בזמן שאני יודעת רק זנות. מנסה ללמוד את השפה החדשה שנים של טיפול, אלפי אימונים לבד מול המראה גיל עשרים וארבע, ועדיין מתבלבלות לי השפות ולא הופך לכן כואב וזר הופך לנעים ומוכר ואני שוב חוזרת להיות רק גוף״ # זנות ומוסר ארצות הברית היא דוגמה למדינה בה זנות מוגדרת כלא חוקית. הגדרה זו של הזנות כלא חוקית עשויה להיתפס כמבורכת מעצם האמירה החותכת העומדת מאחר החלטה זו אשר ממסגרת את הזנות כדבר פסול. אולם, על אף הפן החיובי הגלום במדיניות זו, נורמות החברה הפטריארכלית אינן מאפשרות חשיפה כה מהירה של ניצול המצוקה בזנות, ועל כן- במקום למסגר את הזנות כלא חוקית מעצם הפגיעה בכבוד האדם וניצול הנשים הבוטה הקיים בה, החוק בוחר לראות את הנשים עצמן כשותפות שוות לדבר העבירה בדיוק כמו הגברים. הטיעון להפללה זו של הנשים הינו כי נשים בזנות הן נשים לא מוסריות שמחטיאות את החברה ומשבשות את הסדר המהוגן. אמירה זו זוכה לאמון הציבור הרחב לאור האפליה המובנית הקיימת כלפי הנשים בכללותן בחברה ורואה בהן כבעלות מוסריות ירודה בהשוואה לגברים, כשמנגד רואה בהן כאחראיות להישמר מפני דחפים ויצרים של גברים, אשר לגביהם קיימת תפיסה חברתית כי טבעם הינו שאינם נשלטים. מהסבר זה ניתן להבין כי הגדרתן של נשים בזנות כחסרות מוסריות וככאלו אשר משבשות את סדרי החברה אינה הטעיה אשר נועדה למסך את עצם הניצול והאלימות הגלומה בעצם הזנות על ידי מסר עקיף כי זנות הינה בחירה של נשים לא מוסריות- כשמסר זה למרבה הצער, מתקבל באופן נרחב בחברה ללא ספקות לאור התפיסות המגדריות המקובעות בתודעתם של רבים ונתפסות כמובנות וטבעיות. אך גם מעבר להבנה זו, בחינה אמפירית של אוכלוסיית הנשים אשר פונות אל העמותה מעלה כי נשים בזנות הן כמו כל אדם אחר בעולם- יש כאלו ויש כאלו, כאשר בקהילתנו זו נתקלנו בנשים רעבות שסירבו לעזרה שלנו כי אולי יש כאלו שזקוקות לכך יותר מהן, נתקלו בנשים שמהקושי הפרטי שלהן התנדבו בקהילה הזאת למען נשים אחרות, ונתקלו בנשים בזנות שתרמו בעצמן כסף לאחרות- כלומר, כאלו שגם ההבניות הפטריארכיות הנוקשות ביותר יתקשו להאשימן בהיעדר מוסריות או מוסריות פחותה ביחס לכלל האוכלוסייה. על כן, גם התבוננות זו בשאלות מוסר מובילה שוב לאותה המסקנה אליה הגענו רבות בעבר- היחידים אשר ניתן לטעון באופן תקף לאי מוסריותם הינם אלו המנצלים את גופה ונפשה של אישה מוחלשת, אלו הפועלים לשם טשטוש האמת על עולם הזנות תוך הכתמתן של הנשים המוחלשות עצמן, ואולי- אולי גם כל אותה אוכלוסייה אשר יש לה את היכולת לראות אחרת את מורכבות המצב- ובוחרת גם היא לעצום עיניים- וללעוג לנשים עצמן. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # זנות וזנות קטינות גיל הכניסה לשדה הזנות אינו אחיד ויכול להיפרש על פני כלל רצף החיים, אך באחוזים לא מבוטלים גילאי הכניסה לעולם זה הינם גילאי ראשית גיל ההתבגרות (13-14). בגילאים אלו כידוע מתחילה ההתפתחות המינית, וילדות הופכות, מבעד לעדשת העולם הפטריארכלי- לאובייקט מיני ומושא לתשוקה. במקביל במשפחות לא מתפקדות זהו גיל בו לרוב בורחות רבות מהילדות/ נערות מהבית המזניח ו/או מתעלל ומחפשות, במודע או שלא במודע, חום ואהבה בחוץ. בשלב זה נכנסים לתמונה גורמים נצלנים המודעים היטב למצוקתן של אותן ילדות ונערות, מודעים לצרכיהן הראשוניים שלא סופקו- ומשתמשים באזורים אלו של מצוקה לצורך יצירת תלות- המאפשרת ניצול במסווה של קשר. כך מתהווה מצב בו הזאבים המשחרים לטרף (סרסורים וזנאים) שמחים להציע את "החום והאהבה"- שלהם נערות אלו משוועות, כשתחושות אלו של תשומת לב ומיוחדות, פוגשות פעמים רבות את אותן ילדות ונערות לראשונה בחייהם יכולה ומעניקות להן את הצרכים הבסיסיים אשר כל כך דרושים להם. בכך נכבלות ילדות ונערות אל גורמים אלו- בכבלים בלתי נראים אמנם, אך כאלו שהולכים ומתהדקים עם חלוף הזמן. לא פשוט להתמודד עם התופעה: ראשית משום שבניגוד לזנות מסחרית (כלומר- זנות תמורת כסף), זנות קטינות פעמים רבות מתבטאת באופנים אחרים מן הזנות הקלאסית- בין אם במסווה של קשר זוגי או אהבה, כפי שפורט בפוסט זה, ובין אם מדובר בזנות אותה חוות הנערות כקשר בו ידן על העליונה והן המנצלות כאשר הן מוכנות לאפשר לתת "משהו קטן" (בחוויתן- אליה הורגלו עוד מילדות לתת את גופן ללא תמורה או לתת בתמורה לדבר סמלי) תמורת מתנות יקרות ערך או תמורת פעולות מסוימות (למשל הסעה ממקום למקום). כך או כך- גם אם מדובר בקשר המומשג על ידן כקשר של אהבה וגם אם קשר בו הן מרגישות כי הן העליונות והמנצלות- הבעייתיות טמונה בכך שמיסוך המוצר אינו מאפשר לנערות אלו להבין שהן בזנות. לא זאת ועוד, מיסוך זה פעמים רבות נלווה ונקשר בקושי נוסף של יכולת ההכרה של נערות אלו בכך שהן מצויות במעגל זה- שכן, במאוויהן- עם הבריחה מהבית אמורה להגיע הרגיעה, אמור להגיע החופש, ובעיקר אמורה להשתנות המציאות שנכפתה אליהן כילדות. במובן זה, ההבנה כי מציאות הפגיעה ממשיכה ומשתחזרת גם לאחר היפרדות מהגורמים הפוגעניים הראשוניים הינה הבנה קשה מנשוא- בוודאי קשה, ואולי אף בלתי אפשרית, בשלב בו הפגיעה הראשונית עצמה טרם עובדה ואולי אף טרם הומשגה. שנית, בהתייחסות לגורמי הסיוע אשר פועלים באופן ייעודי לצורך מיגור זנות קטינים- כיום, בניגוד לעבר, בו עולם הנוער מתקיים לחלוטין בזירות הדיגיטליות- הזנות הרבה יותר מוסווית, מבוזרת- ועל כן, קשה לאיתור. אמנם נכון לומר כי עדיין קיימים מוקדי זנות קטינים ממשיים בהם ניתן לבצע עבודות איתור, אך אלו הולכים ומצטמצמים כנגד הפעילות הווירטואלית המתרחבת- אשר מותירה קטינות רבות לבדן, הרחק מעיניי מגורמי הסיוע, וכטרף קל לפוגעים. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # ההבדל בין זנות לקורבנות סחר בהמשך לכתיבתנו בעבר, בה דנו בנושא זירות הזנות השונות, בפוסט זה נבקש לדון בחלוקה נוספת אשר פעמים רבות מתבצעת בדיונים אודות נושא הזנות והיא החלוקה בין זנות כפי שמתפרשת בעיני החברה במובנה הקלאסי לבין זנות אשר מובנת באופן חד משמעי ככזו המתבצעת בשל כפייה- קרי, זנות כתוצאה של סחר בנשים. רבים מתייחסים להבדלים העצומים בין הזנות הקלאסית- אותה הם מסמנים כבחירה לגיטימית, לבין ״קורבנות סחר״ - שנחטפו ממולדתם ונאלצו לעבוד בזנות תחת איום. בהתאם לחלוקה זו, מצבן של קורבנות הסחר מעורר לרוב, ובצדק, זעזוע ובעתה, זאת בשונה ממצב של זנות "רגילה" אשר אליה ההתייחסות לרוב מאופיינת במונחי "עיסוק", "עבודה", "בחירה חופשית" ו- "זכות האישה על גופה". כלומר- על אף ששני המצבים מובילים בסופו של דבר למציאות חופפת, עדיין קיימת בתודעה הציבורית חציצה הרמטית בין אלו- חציצה אשר כאמור מאופיינת בתפיסות שונות, ודעות ניגודיות באשר לשני המצבים. כך בעוד קורבנות סחר ייתפסו כקורבנות ללא עוררין, נשים בזנות אשר אינן קורבנות סחר, עדיין פעמים רבות נתפסות כ"מופקרות" ומהוות מקור לזלזול, האשמה וללעג. התבוננות זו אודות הדמיון הרב הקיים בין שני המצבים מעלה את השאלה מדוע אנחנו לא נחרדים ממצבי זנות בהן נשים כביכול ״חופשיות״? פירוש זה של המציאות כאילו ישנם הבדלים מהותיים, מהווה כמובן מיסוך של הכוחות הפועלים על אותן נשים ואשר הובילו אותן בעל כורחן אל תוך מעגל זה. התהליכים הפסיכולוגים והכלכליים הממלכדים נשים לעולם הזנות, אינם ניכרים לעין כמו לקיחה בכח של דרכון (פרקטיקה ידועה של סרסורים כלפי קורבנות סחר על מנת למנוע בריחה) אבל כבלי הזנות כולאים את הנשים לא פחות מכך, והטרגדיה במקרים אלו היא שקיפותם של כבלים אלו בהשוואה לפרטיקות נראות לעין במצבי סחר. על כן, הנחת היסוד המושרשת בחברה הטוענת לכך כי סחר נשים וזנות הינם דברים שונים מיסודם הינה הנחה שגויה כליל. אין בדברנו כוונה להתכחש, להקטין או לבטל חלילה את הקשיים הייחודיים אשר לרוב מאפיינים קורבנות סחר מתוקף מעמדן האזרחי השונה וההימצאות בארץ זרה. אנו מכירות בעוולות אלו, בחומרתן ובמציאות הקשה עמה נאלצות שורדות סחר רבות להתמודד. עם זאת, ומבלי לפגוע בהכרה בקשיים ייחודיים אלו- בפוסט זה בקשתנו הינה לבטל את אשליית התיחום, כמו גם את תפיסת ההיררכיה בין שני המצבים- שכן, כפי שטענו רבות בעבר- זנות, בהתאם לתפיסתנו, בכל מרחב ומכל סיבה, לעולם מהווה ביטוי לאלימות וניצול מיני. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״, שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # זנות ואונס האם ניתן לאנוס זונה? תמה מקובלת בחברה היא כי אופציה זו אינה אפשרית, שכן, נשים בזנות הינן "נשות מקצוע". בכל הקשר אחר, המונח "אשת מקצוע" מעלה אסוציאציות של אישה בעלת ידע ומומחיות, של מי שיש לה מיומנות מסוימת או השכלה בתחום מסוים. המשמעויות הפרקטיות הנגזרות מכך כי אשת מקצוע הינה מושא לכבוד, או כזו אשר ניתן להיעזר בשירותיה המקצועיים שזו מציעה בעבור מתן שכר טרחה. באשר לכך, נראה כי בעלי אינטרסים מסוימים ביצעו שימוש לרעה במונח זה, וערכו עיוות של הדינאמיקה של מתן שירות מין תמורת תמורה כספית על מנת להגדיר נשים בזנות כ"נשות מקצוע". נראה כי מהלך זה התבצע במטרה להסוות את יחסי הניצול והפגיעה הקיימים בזנות, זאת תחת הטענה כי אלו נשים שזהו "תחום התמחותן". עם זאת, לא די בכך- נראה כי עם השנים אפשר מונח זה עיצוב נרטיב אשר על פיו באם אישה בזנות הינה "בעלת מקצוע", הרי שלא ניתן לפגוע בה, כי הרי אקט הפגיעה הוא אותו אקט אשר נעשה בזנות, והרי בזנות הוא נעשה מתוך רצון לכאורה ומתוקף "מקצועה" של האישה. בזנות, אשת מקצוע משמעו- מי שניתן לעשות בה ככל העולה על הדעת, כשהציפייה היא כי היא תשרת את כל רצונותיו, מאווייו וסטיותיו של הצד השני- שכן, היא אשת מקצוע- ועל כן, מותר לדרוש ממנה, לצפות ממנה, כמו גם לבצע בה- כל מה שלא יעלה על הדעת בכל מרחב אחר. תפיסה זו כה רווחת כיום עד כי לא פעם ניתן לשמוע בדיחות בנושא אשר לא נחזור עליהן כאן . כמו כן, תפיסה זו מטרפדת את יכולתן להתלונן במשטרה לדוגמא. נרמול זה של המציאות בשם הטיעון להיותן "נשות מקצוע" מפקיר נשים רבות בזנות למציאות של פגיעה. קהילה זאת רואה בעצם הזנות עצמה פגיעה מינית, ויודעת שיותר מכך- נשים בזנות גם חשופות יותר, ואופן מתמיד, לאונס אלים בהשוואה לאוכלוסייה הכללית. כשמנגד, לנשים בזנות אין קול, תמיכה או קמפיין "מי טו" אשר יחבק אותן, שכן לא פעם- גם מי שמזדעזעות מעצם הפגיעות המיניות- רואות בנשים בזנות כ"פרוצות" ומותרות לכל. * פוסט זה נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״, שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # זנות וסטיגמות "את כל כך לא נראית כזו, אם הייתי פוגשת אותה בכל סיטואציה אחרת בחיים לא הייתי יכולה לדעת" אז איך נראית אישה בזנות? פעמים רבות קיימת נטייה לזהות את דמות האישה בזנות כדמות בעלת פרופיל מסוים. כשאוכלוסייה כללית מתבקשת לתאר באופן אסוציאטיבי את דמותה של האישה בזנות- יעלה תיאור של אישה חסרת השכלה, חסרת יכולות קוגניטיביות, בעלת מראה פרובוקטיבי, דיבור גס וכזו המגיעה ממקומות גיאוגרפיים מסוימים המזוהים עם רקע של מצוקה. הצורך בהפרדה בין ״הן״ ל״אנחנו״ , כפי שאנו מבינות, נובע מפחד עמוק ואולי זעזוע. עולם הזנות, מעצם היותו עולם כל כך אפל, חשוך ומפחיד מביא אנשים רבים לחשוב כי מדובר במשהו ששייך לאחרת. במילים אחרות- עולם שלא ניתן להגיע אליו אם בילדותך גדלת במשפחה מבוססת, אם הינך בעלת יכולות קוגניטיביות, באם רכשת השכלה, אם ביכולתך לדבר בשפה גבוהה, אם יש בך תכונות של רכות ועדינות ועוד. מחשבות אלו מספקות לפרט היחיד, כמו גם לחברה, הגנה שלהם זה לא יכול לקרות, שלא יכול להיות שבסביבתם ישנה מישהי הלכודה בעולם זה, וכן מספקת הגנה לכל אחת ואחד- כי הם חסינים מפני העולם המרוחק הזה. על אף הרצון לברוח מן האמת, בין אם באופן מודע ובין אם לא, יש להדגיש כי נשים בזנות אינן בעלות מאפייני נראות או התנהגות מסוימים, כמו גם אינן מגיעות מרקע סוציו- אקונומי מסוים. הן יכולות להתלבש באופן הכי שמרני שנוכל לדמיין, להתאפר באופן פרובוקטיבי או בכלל לא, להיות משכילות או בורות, צעירות או מבוגרות, חברותיות או סגורות. רכישת הבנה זו עלולה להיות מפחידה, אך הינה גם חשובה ואף הכרחית- שכן, רכישת הבנה זו למעשה חושפת מציאות בה כל אחת וכל אחד יכולה או יכול להיות בזנות. בהתייחסות קונקרטית יותר "לאמירה כל אחת וכל אחד" הכוונה היא גם לסביבה הפרטית של כל אחת ואחד- הקולגה לעבודה, השכנה, החברה, המכרה.. הן אנחנו, כשהמכנה המשותף היחיד שנוכל אולי להצביע עליו, שכמעט כולן טראומטיות, מצולקות מהחיים בזנות. על כן- היו ערניות באופן הדיבור והתייחסות לאוכלוסייה זו- גם בשיחת חולין עם חברה טובה, גם בפגישת עבודה עם קולגה כישרונית ומצליחה וגם בהיתקלות עם השכנה העדינה. לדמות האישה בזנות אין פנים ואין צורה, אלא רק מציאות של שקיפות והשתקה עמוקה. ביום שתתקבע ההבנה שנשים בזנות הן אנחנו וכאן ולא ההן ושם- נהפוך לחברה נאורה יותר, ובעיקר אינטגרטיבית ושלמה. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״, שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # דמות האישה בזנות או כפי שקרויה בלשון העממית - ה"זונה"- היא דמות המקושרת לרוב בדמיוננו כבעלת תכונות מסוימות כמו- מופקרת, זולה, פרחה, בוטה ו"ילדה רעה" מיתוס זה מטפח בחברה את החשיבה של נשים בזנות כנשים מופקרות מינית ושובבות, כאלו הבודקות גבולות ומספקות את היצרים המיניים של ״הלקוחות״ בשמחה, התלהבות ומתוך תאווה מינית. מיתוס זה חלחל כה עמוק לתודעה הציבורית עד אשר התקבע ככזה לא רק בקרב החברה הכללית, אלא לעיתים גם בקרב מי שמגדירה את עצמה כפמיניסטית. לא פעם במאבקים נגד פגיעות מיניות אנו רואים ביקורת הטוענת שמי שהתלבשה חשוף היא לא "זונה" ועל כן לבושה לא נותן זכות לפגוע בה. אחת הדוגמאות הידועות לכך הינה הכרזה האינטרנטית בה כתוב- "זה לא שהיא התלבשה כמו זונה, אלא זה אתה שחושב כמו אנס". אלו, שלא במתכוון משמרים ומעמיקים את התודעה הציבורית הכוזבת אודות האישה בזנות כמופקרת וכמעוניינת במין בכלל, ובתקיפה מינית בפרט. כנגד עיצוב תודעתי זה, המציאות שונה לחלוטין. רוב הנשים בזנות מדווחות על תחושות גועל מאותם צרכני זנות. רובן סובלות מטראומות מורכבות, חוות התשה רגשית ופיזית, סובלות מדיכאונות וחרדות ומתמודדות באמצעות סמים ואלכוהול או מצויות במצבים דיסוציאטיביים קיצוניים. על כן, בינן לבין מיתוס המיניות של ״ילדות רעות״ אין ולו דבר אחד במשותף. *הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״, שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # זנות וסיורים ״לימודיים״ אנחנו עדות לתופעה שמתקיימת בשנים האחרונות בארץ, סיורים ״לימודיים״ לזירות פשיעה וזנות. חשוב לנו לעורר מודעות ולקרא לכם ולכן למחות ולא לקחת בהם חלק. מדוע בעצם ? אלו הטיעונים: כל עוד מוזמן הקהל הרחב לסיורים הללו, ולא אלו שעובדים עם נוער בסיכון, עובדות סוציאליות וכו׳ , הרי שמרכיב ״הלמידה״ בו הוא שולי. סיורים אלו נועדו בעיקר לשם שעשוע, ריגוש והתקרבות לסכנה (כמו לצפות בסדרת פשע) ומשמעות הלמידה בו נמוכה , בטח עבור השורדות. אם רוצים ללמוד ישנן עוד דרכים, פחות פוגעניות ונכון, פחות ״חוויתיות״! שורדות משתפות אותנו כל הזמן שהסיורים האלו גורמים להן תחושות השפלה מעצם קיומם, משמע היו ״חיות בספארי״ או תופעת טבע מבדרת. האם יש מי מאתנו שהייתה מדרדרת לזנות, מכורה לסמים, בתחתית שפל חייה, הייתה מוכנה שיצפו בה? (״ברגישות״ כן?!). * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. # אז מה רוצים זנאים? האם הזנאים רוצים בהכרח נשים צעירות? יפות? סקסיות? אנחנו ודאי מניחות שהתשובה היא כן, אבל באופן מפתיע זאת דווקא לא התשובה. הזנאים תמיד יחפשו אחרי ״החדשה״ זאת שהיום הגיעה למכון. מדוע? כי כפי שאנחנו יודעות עיסוק בזנות שוחק את הנפש והגוף ומשפיע על מצבן של הנשים, הן מתקשות לחייך ולהעמיד פנים ככל שהזמן עובר. הזנאים, מעוניינים מצידם להמשיך את עיוורונם למצוקת הנשים, זאת לצד המשך שימור הנרטיב כי הינם ראויים לקבלת "שירות אדיב ואיכותי" בכל תחום אחר ועל כן תמיד יבקשו את ״החדשה". באופן עצוב, הריגוש אשר נגרם להם לאור בקשתם את החדשה ביותר גם מתעצם נוכח הימצאות מקבילה של נורמות מגדריות הרווחות בחברה הכללית, ואשר לפיהן ערך האישה נקבע באופן היררכי בהתאם למספר הפרטנרים ליחסים שהיו לה. בשונה מכל המקצועות בהם וותק וניסיון מקושרים עם הערכה רבה יותר, העלאה בשכר, דרגה יותר גבוהה ותפיסת האישה כבעלת ידע רב, בזנות הניסיון והוותק נחשבים לחיסרון, ורק מעמיקים את מצבה הרע של האישה- ביכולתה לעמוד על רצונותיה, בסכומים שהיא רשאית לבקש או באופן בו היא נתפסת על ידי זנאים וסרסורים. בכך- בכל פעם שעולה הטענה כי זנות היא מקצוע לגיטימי ככל מקצוע אחר בחברה- הציעו למי שאומר זאת לשאול עצמו האם רכישה זו של אישה מזכירה יותר רכישה של מתן שירות או רכישה של מוצר? *הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת מקהילתנו. # ציטוטים של זנאים פוסט מאוד קשה, מכיל תיאורים גרפיים (נא להפעיל שיקול דעת בעת הקריאה) לאחר שנסגר פורום ״סקס אדיר״ בו דורגו נשים בזנות , נפתחו פורומים ודיונים דומים בטלגרם. בקבוצות האלו משתתפים מעל 1000 איש והן כוללות דיווחים על ״טיב הסחורה״ משל היו חפצים. אנחנו מביאות לכן דוגמאות מהפורומים האלו (השתדלנו לבחור ציטוטים ״קלים לעיכול יחסית) כדי להמחיש כמה הנשים האלו הן לא יותר ממוצר עבור הזנאים: ״דגמתי אותה, ככה היא לא תקתקנית. אין פרצוף מי יודע מה, אבל גוף סבבה מתנשקת, מוצצת עם גומי. נקייה סך הכל היה סבבה״ ״חברים דגמתי אותה עכשיו ואני מקווה שתהנו מהדיווח ... הרחתי ממנה ריחות לא נעימים... לא מומלצת״ ״אנשים אני מזכיר שוב לא להתקרב לשם המקום נראה זוועה כמו הבחורה שם בת אולי 55 לא שווה 40 שקל אפילו״ ״עכשיו לתיאור של הבחורה, שמנה, לא נראית טוב, ציצי קטן״ * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף השורדת ״ענבל״ # קווים לדמותם של זנאים ״את לא ספרנית, את זונה״ את המשפט הזה אמר צרכן זנות לשורדות מקהילתנו שסירבה לאקט מיני מסוים שביקש. אדם נשוי, יש לו אימא, אחיות ובנות (הוא שיתף אותה בנתון הזה) . מאחר והיא ״זונה״ הוא יכול לדרוש כל דבר ולה אסור לסרב גם אם היא חווה אותו כמשפיל. כשניסתה לעצור אותו, הסגביר לה שהיא לא זכאית לומר לא או לשים גבול, זאת זכותו, הוא הרי ״קנה אותה״ ושתדע את מקומה, וכך ענה: ״היה בא לי עליך את זונה באתי כי פרסמת אם כמה שקשה לך לשמוע את זה זה המצב לא הכרנו בבר״ # זנות ו״כסף קל״ לא פעם נשמעות טענות, כמו גם מוצג מצג שווא כי זנות הינה ״כסף קל״. לאור כך, אחת מטענותיהם המרכזיות של המתנגדים למיגור הזנות הינה כי זו העבודה היחידה המאפשרת לנשים להרוויח משכורת מכובדת ומעלה במעט שעות עבודה. על אף אמונות אלו- המציאות בשטח שונה לחלוטין. ראשית, בכל הנוגע לתגמול כספי, תעשיית הזנות בראש ובראשונה מתבססת אודות השווי של האישה. כלומר, שווי הגוף שלה. אמנם, בהקבלה לעולם העבודה- היו אשר יגידו כי בכל מקצוע בשוק חופשי יש עלות שונה לאנשי מקצוע מתחום מסוים, אך בשונה מכל המקצועות, בזנות לרוב ערך האישה יורד ככל שהיא יותר "משומשת". כמובן שמדד זה (לצד נתוני אידיאל היופי) הינו לא פעם גם מבחן הכניסה אשר יאפשר לה או לא יאפשר להיכנס לזירות הנחשבות כיוקרתיות יותר או גם באופן עצמאי- לזכות בליגיטימציה לבקש יותר כסף. במצבים אלו, גם אם קיימת תקופה מסוימת בה האישה כן מרוויחה כמות כסף- יש לזכור כי חלק נכבד ממנו לרוב נלקח על ידי הסרסור. באשר לסכום שנשאר- לא פעם זה מוגדר כ"כסף מלוכלך" - ומשמש להתנהגויות פיצוי שונות (כגון קניית סמים, מוניות, מסעדות או מותרות אחרות) המאפשרות ליצור טשטוש של הבלתי ניתן להכלה, למזער, גם אם באופן פיקטיבי, את עוצמת הפגיעה- ובכך, להמשיך לשרוד את עולם הזנות. לא בכדי התיאורטיקנית פיטרמן טענה שזנות זה ״חוזה פראי״ בין שני צדדים. מדוע? כי בעוד ״הלקוח״ שילם ובא על סיפוקו. האישה בזנות ״סיפקה את השירות״ וקיבלה כסף, אך בניגוד לכל חוזה כלכלי אחר, משלמת על העיסקה הרבה זמן אחרי הביצוע (טראומה, ביזוי חברתי, מחלות ועוד ועוד). על כן- התנהגויות הפיצוי הינן לעולם לא יוכלו להיחשב כבחירה חופשית של האישה באשר להוצאות הכספיות שלה, כי אם תמיד דרך לכסות על נזקי הזנות. כמובן שמעבר לכך לא פעם לאחר זמן קצר או ארוך יותר יש שחיקה ביכולת האישה לשרוד את העולם הזה, כמו גם בעיני זנאים וסרסורים אינה נחשבת עוד ל"בשר טרי". כך אט אט מתחילים להישחק הסכומים ההתחלתיים (אם כלל היו כאלו)- ונשים בזנות נאלצות להעביר שעות ארוכות, קשות ומייגעות במשמרות, לרוב ללא הפסקות, ובמלחמות ביניהן אודות זנאים- רק בשביל להיענות בלית ברירה לסטיותיהם ודרישותיהם של הזנאים- כדי שיוכלו להרוויח דבר מה, אם בכלל. ולכן זנות היא ״כסף מהיר״, אך היא בהחלט לא ״כסף קל״, והרווח אשר כביכול עומד בצידו הינו רק לכאורה- שכן באם הינו כלל קיים, זה משמש רק להניע את ההישאבות לעולם שכולו ניצול, טראומה ואימה. כשמשלב מסוים- הדבר היחיד שנותר הינו מעגל של הרס ופגיעה. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. תודה לך. # זנות והפחתה במקרי אונס (האמנם?) "ברור שאני נגד זנות, אבל מה את מעדיפה? שילכו ויאנסו מישהי בחוץ?" טענות מעין אלו נשמעות לא אחת מפי אנשים שונים, וביניהם אף לא מעט נשים. נראה כי העומד בבסיס טענות אלו הינה ההנחה הרווחת שעצם קיומה של הזנות מסייע במיגור האונס והתקיפות המיניות בחברה הכללית. התפיסה אשר רואה נשים בזנות כאמונות אודות שמירה על נשות החברה "הנורמטיביות"- הינה תפיסה דכאנית מיסודה ומעודדת את העמקת הפטריארכיה, ובעיקר את שקיפותה. אך מעבר לכך, ראוי לשאול- האם אכן יש כלל אמת בטענה זו? באם גברים מצופים מתוקף כוחם החברתי לרצות מין בכל עת, האם זנות תמגר תקיפות מיניות ואונס? העובדה כי לא קיימת אף לא ראייה מחקרית אחת המאששת קשר הפוך בין קיומה של תעשיית הזנות לבין אחוזי הפגיעות המיניות באוכלוסייה הכללית- מחזקת את הטענה כי תפיסה זו אינה מבוססת, ולא רק שאינה מבוססת- אף בנויה על מידע מוטעה, בשירות הפטריארכיה. אמירה זו אינה מחזיקה מים- הגם אם באופן תיאורטי זנות אכן הייתה מנתבת דחפים כלפי נשים ספציפיות, האם החברה בה אנו מסכימות ורוצות לחיות הינה חברה בה ישנן נשים סוג אלף - מהוגנות וטובות- עליהן יש להגן מפני אנסים וסוטים, ולצידן, נשים סוג ב, נשים אשר לרוב כבר נפגעו גם כך בעברן, האם הן אלו שסביר מבחינתנו להקריבן, להופכן לאחרות, למופקרות, או אף ל"גיבורות" שיספגו בגופן את הרוע וימנעו את האונס הבא?! האם יש נפשות וגופים ששווים יותר בחברה שלנו וכאלו אשר לא נורא להקריבן לטובת הכלל? * פוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. תודה לך. # זנות ומיניות בניגוד למיתוסים הרווחים הטוענים לכך כי נשים בזנות הן נימפומניות או נהנות ממין מרובה, נשים בזנות לא רק שאינן חובבות סקס יותר מהאישה המצויה, אלא חלקן יכולות להיות בכלל לסביות או אף א- מיניות. למעשה נשים שפונות לזנות עושות זאת משלל סיבות (שאת רובן אנחנו משתדלות לפרט בפוסטים האלו) אולם צורך במין או תשוקה מינית אינן חלק מסיבות אלו. יש להדגיש בהקשר לכך כי מהות הזנות אינה האקט המיני גרידא תמורת סכום כסף או אתנן אחר, אלא גילום של כוח, שליטה, אלימות והשפלה. בניגוד לקשר מיני שוויוני בין שני סובייקטים- בזנות הקשר הוא בין גבר סובייקט לבין אישה המשמשת כאובייקט לרצונותיו, סטיותיו ומאוויו של הגבר. בתוך קשר זה האישה לא נתפסת כצד, או כלל כאדם, אלא כאובייקט לסיפוק צרכים גרידא. על כן, באופן זהה לתקיפות מיניות, זנות היא זירה בה אלימות ומין משולבים יחדיו. על כן- בכל הנוגע לזנות, לעולם לא מדובר בסטוץ' עם רווח לצידו- אלא ביחסי כוח המגולמים כחלק מחברה פטריארכלית. בשל כך, כל ניסיון לנרמל את מעשה הזנות או לערוך מינימזציה של האקט- מחזק ומשריש את נרמול האלימות המינית- כלפי נשים בזנות, וכלפי החברה בכללותה. * הפוסט נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו. תודה לך. # זנות ועזרה בין אם הנכן נמצאות פרק זמן קצר בקבוצה, ובין אם כבר שנים, בוודאי קראתן פוסטים שונים- של עדויות מגוף ראשון או פוסטים לבקשות עזרה. מפוסטים אלו פעמים רבות משתקפת המצוקה החריפה, הקונקרטית והרגשית, בה מצויות שורדות פעמים רבות. לאור הקושי הרגשי שפוסטים אלו מעוררים בקוראות, פעמים רבות האינסטינקט הוא הרצון להיחלץ לטובת האישה, לא לעמוד מנגד ולהוציאה ממעגל הזנות. יחד עם זאת, יש לזכור כי קבלת סיוע הינו עניין מורכב. ניתן להניח כי רבות מכן יוכלו להבין את המורכבות הכלולה בקבלת עזרה, ואולי אף להזדהות עמה- אך עבור נשים בזנות, קבלת עזרה הינה פעמים רבות קשה בהרבה ביחס לאוכלוסייה הכללית. קושי זה נובע משום שרבות מהנשים בזנות איבדו אמון בסיסי- הן בבני אדם, והן ביכולת לאפשר לעצמן, או אף לדמיין, עתיד אחר. רבות מהן לא מכירות מציאות בה מישהי יכולה להיות שם בשבילן מבלי לבקש דבר בתמורה, ובשל האמון הפגוע ביחס בעולם- הינן מתקשות לקבל מחשבה זו. לכן אנו בקהילה מקפידות ללכת ״בקצב שלהן״. כלומר, משתדלות לא ללחוץ, כאשר המסר המרכזי אותו אנו מעבירות הוא ״אנחנו כאן. כשתרצי- אם תרצי, נדע לחבר למי שצריך כדי לצאת מהעולם הזה״. חלק מהן לא מעוניינות בשיקום- בשלב ספציפי או בכלל. חוסר היענות זו משאירה אותנו לרוב מתוסכלות וחסרות אונים. אולם, בד בבד אנו גם מבינות עד כמה המסע הזה קשה, ארוך ומפרך. לכן, אנו תמיד ממשיכות לתת יד וללכת עם כל אחת בקצב שלה. נתינת היד הזו, היא פעמים רבות זו שמוכיחה מה שלרוב כבר ניתן אף להעז לחלום- שיש מקום בעולם של קבלה לא מותנית בדבר, של בית ושל גב- שכל עוד האישה תרצה, היא לא עוד לבד בעולם. מעניין הוא שלעיתים דווקא עצם הנתינה עצמה, ללא כל דרישה, היא זו שמשיבה- ולו במעט- את היכולת להאמין במה שלעולם לא היה קיים או נגיש בעולמן. גיבוש יכולת זו, על אף שאינה מטרה מוצהרת של העמותה, היא זו אשר פעמים רבות מאפשרת בהדרגה את פתיחת הדלת לחיים אחרים, לתקווה ולאמונה- בבני אדם, ובעולם בכלל. * פוסט זה נכתב בשיתוף ״שלגיה״ שורדת חברת קהילתנו . תודה לך. # זנות וטראומה את האירוע הבא שלחה לי שורדת חברת קהילתנו, לקרוא ולא להאמין: ״הייתי אצל פסיכיאטר היום, כדי לחדש רישיון לקנביס רפואי, הוא התחיל לשאול אותי שאלות על מצבי הנפשי וכמה זמן אני מקבלת קנביס. בשלב מסוים בשיחה הוא שאל למה אני מקבלת קנביס , אמרתי שיש לי פוסט טראמה מורכבת, ואז זה התחיל: ״למה מישהו הרביץ לך? התעלל בך? פגע בך? אנס אותך?״ בשלב זה עדיין ניסיתי להישאר רגועה וספרתי לו שאני שורדת זונות.. הפסיכיאטר אמר בתגובה: ״אבל זונות זה לא מספיק בשביל פוסט טראומה מורכבת...״ פסיכיאטרים יקרים, למי מכם שפספס: זנות גורמת לטראומה. זנות היא טראומה. # זנות וזהות לרבות מהנשים בזנות יש ״שם עבודה״ , בדרך כלל זהו שם פרטי בלבד נטול שם משפחה. שם שמשדר ניחוח של ארץ זרה או בת השכן, לפי מיטב מסורת פנטזיית הפורנו. אנדראה דבורקין, התיאורטיקנית הנערצת עלי ושורדת בעצמה, האשימה בכך את הפטריארכיה. היא טוענת כי העדר הזהות הקונקרטית של האישה, מאפשרת לצרכני הזנות להתעלם מהיותה אדם אמיתי, סובייקט בעולם בעל רגשות וצרכים. הם אומרים לעצמם: ״אין לה ממשות, היא כלום בשבילי ושום דבר אני לא צריך להתמודד איתה, היא אמצעי בשבילי לסיפוק״. הזהות הבדויה הופכת להיות גם אמצעי הגנה לנשים. הן אומרות לעצמן ״זה קורה למישהי אחרת, לא לי״. לאט לאט משתלטת הזהות הבדויה על האישה והופכת להיות חלק ממנה, חלק מזהות העצמי. חזרה למידע והסברה

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Library of Info & Articles The Nordic model is sometimes also referred to as the "ban on the consumption of prostitution", the "abolitionist model" or the "equality model". This is a regulatory approach, which makes buying "sexual services" an illegal act. Economic activity aimed at profiting from another person's prostitution, such as pimping, is also prohibited. Prostitution itself is seen within the framework of the model as a harm to those who engage in it, and therefore they are provided with rehabilitation services and exit from the circle of prostitution. This approach has been adopted in Sweden (1999), Norway (2009), Iceland (2009), Canada (2014), Northern Ireland (2015), France (2016), Ireland (2017) and Israel (2020). What is the Nordic model adopted by Israel? Read more The Israeli media and social networks call the regulatory series of the sex industry by the word "institutionalization". This term has no equivalent in the English language, so we will refer to the sex industry in the country as "regulated", when places of prostitution (brothels, brothels, massage parlors that also offer prostitution services) are given the legal status of a business or a limited company. The types of regulation that meet the definition This may be different, and in the framework of the article we will focus on some of them. The sex industry is legal around the world Read more In September 2020, about two months after the entry into force of the law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution, the Tel Aviv municipality made a dramatic announcement: the existing strip clubs will be closed, and the new clubs, if they ask to open, will not receive a license. Tel Aviv was the last city in Israel, where legal strip clubs operated. Therefore, the meaning of this announcement was supposedly the elimination of the strip clubs in the country. In 2021, the municipality reversed the decision and allowed the reopening of one club, Shando. This change illustrates the tipping point of the fight in the sex industry, when it comes to clubs. The strip clubs in Israel: the struggle and the outlook for the future Read more Legislators all over the world recognize that the sex industry is a complex phenomenon that causes many damages to all stakeholders, first and foremost to those engaged in it. In more conservative countries, the "normative society" tends to be seen as a victim of the sex industry, while in the Nordic model countries (Sweden, France, Israel) the industry is seen as harming first and foremost the women caught up in it. The different perceptions regarding the identity of the victim and regarding the most effective way to minimize the damages have given rise to a variety of legal models. These models are many, but they can be sorted into individual categories. In this article, we will separate the countries that want to eradicate the prostitution industry from the countries that want to put up with its existence, regulate it and try to monitor its damages. Regulators dealing with the sex industry: approaches in the world Read more

The strip clubs in Israel: the struggle and the outlook for the future Article: Luba Fine In September 2020, about two months after the entry into force of the law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution, the Tel Aviv municipality made a dramatic announcement: the existing strip clubs will be closed, and the new clubs, if they ask to open, will not receive a license. Tel Aviv was the last city in Israel, where legal strip clubs operated. Therefore, the meaning of this announcement was supposedly the elimination of the strip clubs in the country. In 2021, the municipality reversed the decision and allowed the reopening of one club, Shando. This change illustrates the tipping point of the fight in the sex industry, when it comes to clubs. In Israel there is and never has been a law prohibiting strip clubs as such. Such a law exists, as of today, in only one country: Iceland. Hence, the whole struggle in the strip industry was conducted here in indirect ways. Idit Shemesh Harel, a veteran abolitionist, recalls: "In the early 2000s, the clubs in Tel Aviv and Haifa flourished. Boria Salzman from the Tel Aviv Municipality initiated a discussion on the issue of eradicating trafficking in women. At that time, no one was talking about prostitution and stripping, but we turned to Alhanan Meshi, The manager of the business licensing department in the municipality, so that he stops granting licenses to clubs. He refused. The clubs were registered as cabaret clubs, and operated with a license. 'If you want, go change the law,' said Meshi. They called him to go there and see what was going on with them, and he replied: Of course I was, and I also brought my son there.'' Later, Idit Shemesh Harel wrote letters to Tel Aviv Mayor Ron Huldai and other decision-makers on behalf of "Todeda", a non-profit that advocates against the sex industry. She said that within the context of the strip clubs there are back rooms that offer prostitution services for all kinds of things. Also dancing Help Dance is prostitution for everything, she explained. "I didn't rely on rumors, I was there. I entered the club with a friend, we paid NIS 80 and got a free drink. We've seen it all: men touching women everywhere, back rooms. I peeked into one of the rooms, it had a bed and a huge roll of tissues. These were boom times, the clubs were mainstream and normative." From the mid-2010s, the general fight in the sex industry progressed, and the status of the clubs also began to be undermined. In 2015, another large municipality, Haifa, started a fight against strip clubs. Haifa Mayor Yona Yahav did not wait for the law to change; He hired private investigators and was able to provide the police with evidence that the clubs offered prostitution services. As a result, the strip clubs in Haifa were closed after not receiving a license [1] . The activists from Tel Aviv realized that you have the tools to fight the clubs, and you don't have to wait for a specific law. In 2016, due to the testimonies of the women who worked in strip clubs, police raids were carried out on the clubs in the Tel Aviv area. The police discovered the "private rooms", and the club owners were required to close them. After several attempts to deceive the authorities and disguise the rooms, they were permanently closed in 2017. In the same year, Judge Michal Agmon Gonen gave a precedent ruling: she banned the strip clubs in the Ramat Gan area, claiming that "these are practices of degrading the objectification of women and harming their dignity as human beings , that the entire law works to eradicate [...] objectification in general, and in nudity shows for sexual stimulation in particular, stems from the presentation of women as passive, who always responds to sex on demand, and attributing a sexual nature to the very objectification of women. The men who come to watch nudity for sexual stimulation, do so For their own sexual needs, they treat women instead as a tool to achieve a goal that is external to those women, as devoid of human existence and meaning in themselves. They do not see them as a goal in themselves and do not care about their well-being and happiness. In these shows, there is an identification between the objectification of women and sexual stimulation." Judge Agmon Gonen added that "there is an argument that the women appearing do not feel humiliated and perhaps on the contrary, they chose to do so of their own free will. To this the answer must be that when certain behaviors are not experienced as humiliating, but they violate human dignity, they must be prohibited as violating the basic values of society. In other words, it can be determined that a certain activity or behavior denigrates women and damages their dignity, even if they themselves do not see it that way [2] ". In 2019, State Attorney Shai Nitzan issued an official directive, that consuming a lap dance in a strip club would be considered consuming prostitution. He has a caveat, that watching a woman dance in a club without touching will not be considered prostitution or any criminal offense, but physical contact between a customer and a stripper will be defined as prostitution. It was also stated in the directive that it will be possible to prosecute club owners or their operators for pimping prostitution, possessing or renting a place for the purpose of prostitution. However, the strippers or junior workers will not be prosecuted [3] . The clubs continued to struggle for existence. Club owners in Tel Aviv, the last city that allowed them to operate legally, promised that any kind of dancing, including the "private", would take place without contact. After the promise, the business licenses for the strip clubs were recently renewed by the Tel Aviv municipality. Nevertheless, in February 2020 the strip clubs were unexpectedly closed [4] . Normally, a decision of this kind is given for a period of thirty days, after which the clubs were expected to reopen. However, due to the outbreak of the Corona epidemic, After the success of the campaign, which led to a significant reduction in the scope of trafficking in women from 2006 onwards, the activists and the politicians decided not to stop here, and to continue fighting for a ban on the consumption of prostitution. A law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution was enacted for the first time in Sweden in 1999. In 2008, Knesset member Zehava Galon placed on the table of the seventeenth Knesset a bill seeking to criminalize consumers of prostitution services. A decade later, the law was passed in a slightly more limited version. During the same decade, other, less controversial, attempts were made to restrict the sex industry. Among the laws enacted during this period were: the Phone Number Blocking Law for the Prevention of Offenses, which allows the blocking of phone numbers of places of prostitution (2018), and the Website Blocking Law (2017), which allows websites used for crime, including pimps, to be removed from the network. Legislation limiting the activity of strip clubs as such has never been enacted in Israel, nor has an attempt been made to advance it. Therefore, when the clubs in the north of Israel were closed in 2015, it was because of unlicensed activity. In 2016, an intense fight against the strip clubs also began in the central region. At first, the fight was concentrated in the "back rooms", where prostitution services were provided by the strippers. The public, the police and the women's organizations have known about the rooms for a long time, and the issue has also been brought up many times in the media. In 2016, an order was given to close the rooms, and the business licenses of the strip clubs were conditioned on the fact that paid sex services would not be offered in the places. In 2017, Judge Michal Agmon Gunen ruled in a precedent ruling that strip clubs should be closed in the city of Ramat Gan, near Tel Aviv, because a city building plan for the complex allows entertainment clubs to operate there, but strip shows are not considered "entertainment" because they involve "humiliation, objectification Women and harm to their dignity" [5] . In 2019, State Attorney Shai Nitzan determined that sexual dances (lap dances) in strip clubs would be considered prostitution. The owners of the clubs in Tel Aviv, the last stronghold of the striptease business, have pledged that every type of dance, including the "private", will be performed without contact [6] . As of the time the article was written (May 2021), the strip clubs in Tel Aviv, with the exception of Shando, are closed. As for the future, there is much uncertainty. The Tel Aviv municipality, in whose territory the clubs operate, does not yet have a consolidated policy against them and, as mentioned, there is also no law prohibiting their operation. A large fortune of strip club owners is at stake, and it is clear that they will not give up easily. However, the anti-prostitution organizations have reason to be optimistic. Today, we are equipped with extensive legislation against the sex industry, with the support of media and politicians, with the order of the former state attorney, with overwhelming support within the feminist community and partial support among the general public. The owners of the strip clubs have repeatedly committed crimes: when they operated under the license of a "cabaret club", when they promised to close "private rooms" and when they were forbidden to provide "lap dance" services. Do they deserve another chance? Even if you don't oppose stripping as a practice, these people deserve jail, not a license. Let's just hope that one day, the Israeli legislator will close the strip clubs, so that we don't depend forever on the enlightened position of the municipalities. ​ [1] https://haipo.co.il/item/31899 [2] https://www.haaretz.co.il/news/law/.premium-1.4389611 [3] https://www.haaretz.co.il/news/law/.premium-1.7083803 [4] https://www.globes.co.il/news/article.aspx?did=1001317991 [5] https://megafon-news.co.il/asys/archives/273496 [6] https://www.haaretz.co.il/news/law/.premium-1.7083803 חזרה

Information From the World # Prostitution and international human trafficking data  Trafficking in women is a worldwide problem that has been going on for years, with the vast majority of cases involving the exploitation of disadvantaged women or women from poor countries. The question often arises, what are the trade volumes in the world, how widespread is this problem and where? Although these questions are relevant and essential for the purpose of mapping the problem on its scope, location and characteristics - elements that could help in building a plan for eradication, and even for prevention - the reality is that despite the data that exists today, it is still very difficult, and even impossible, to estimate the number of exploited people Prostitution as a result of international trade. The reasons for this are that trade definitions differ from country to country, and some countries in the world refuse to disclose data. There is also a question regarding the gap between the data that is known to the authorities and the actual data - because, due to the fact that trafficking is often conducted by criminal elements - many times women are held in captive conditions without anyone knowing about their existence in the country or in other cases (even at the same time Sometimes) the economic distress of the woman, who needs to send money to her family, combined with her lack of knowledge of the assistance options (or the language at all) in the foreign country she is in - prevents her from trying to ask for help - thus trapping her in the trade circle for many years to come. About a decade ago, the Business Insider news site reported in the light of official reports collected from various countries that the number of people in prostitution per year ranges from 40-42 million people. Three quarters of them are 13-25 years old and about 80% are girls and women. Has a reduction begun in these alarming numbers in the ten years that have passed? We can only hope… *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution in the USA In view of the ruling of the US Supreme Court regarding the cancellation of the federal right to abortion, it will be interesting to examine what the American law says regarding prostitution: In most US states, prostitution is illegal. All those who take part in the act of prostitution are considered criminals - the pimps, the prostitutes, and yes, the unfortunate women are also considered criminals. They are usually arrested and criminal proceedings are opened against them. In Israel, according to the "Nordic model", only adulterers receive a fine (and this is not a "criminalization law" as it is customary to mislead the public). According to the American concept, women in prostitution are immoral and offend the public, and especially of course the men. There is an exception in the state of Nevada and it is allowed to have institutionalized brothels there (Las Vegas, for example, is prone to human trafficking). The USA is once again showing its hypocritical and ugly face when it comes to women. חזרה למידע והסברה