Following the corona crisis, this project is suspended until the return to normal. Social garment The social garment is the flagship project of the "Do not stand by" association, a project for the purposes of information and funding of the association's activities. This is a stand that takes place in the Greek market in Jaffa, every Friday. The stand is run by female volunteers and we sell second-hand clothes and accessories. All proceeds are a donation to our association. The organization is run through the Facebook group Do not stand by - helping women in the circle of prostitution and joining the group allows you to keep up to date with the required activity - any help is welcome. How can we help? The social garment project provides breathing room for the association. You can donate clothes and/or volunteer at the stand itself. Through the sale of the clothes we receive as a donation, we raise funds and thus manage to answer more requests from women who survive prostitution. The response provided by the group ranges from a personal connection between volunteers and women who need it, through the supply of basic products (food baskets, medicines) to assistance in finding a job, study scholarships and medical treatments. We invite you to join our Facebook group and become part of the solution. Let's not stand by! ❤️ Thank you for your contributions. FYI: Some of the clothing donations are transferred by the association to a second-hand store, Chelsea, which will sell the clothes and then transfer a percentage of the sale proceeds to the association. This is according to the scope of clothing donations to the project and its absorption capacity. Feel free to look for the red ticket in the store :) For more information and donations Contact us on Facebook

Standing Order Donation If this page does not load, go directly to the clearing page at this link . *The association has an income tax approval regarding donations according to section 46a of the ordinance and proper management approval for the year 2021

Book a lecture The talks are adapted to the audience – organizations, workplaces, protests. We invite you to contact us by email to schedule a talk: Roni@lo-omdot.org Book a Lecture Please fill in the details and we will get back to you as soon as possible :) שם פרטי שם משפחה שם החברה תפקידך דוא״ל טלפון כמה יחידות שי תרצו לרכוש? (הערכה בלבד) שאלות? שליחה תודה שאתן לא עומדות מנגד

Furniture & Equipment Team You are invited to join the furniture and equipping team, which helps survivors of prostitution to equip themselves with essential products for living in dignity. Enter our Facebook page and join the activity. חזרה

שקיפות כספית The association 'lo omdot' which helps women in the circle of prostitution, aims to operate with full transparency and maximum ethics. We present to you the data, approvals and documents required to manage an association according to the law.

צוות המטה Dr. Naama Goldberg CEO, founder of the association Shlomit Agozi CFO Michal Ben Zaken Manages a system of references Orna Tamir Responsible for evaluation and measurement, management of the association's Twitter account Hila Marcus Food safety team leader Danit Mitchell media manager Esti Haimov Administrative management and concentration in the field of volunteering Sivan Plai Clinical social worker, manager of a training system Shira Shiloh Dental treatment team leader Ronnie Kol Ezra Head of the equipment team and logistics , coordinator of community relations and concentration of the field of volunteering Photographed by: Adi Lam (Naama Goldberg, Yonit Ben Tov, Shlomit Aguzi, Hila Marcus, Sivan Plai, Roni Kol Ezera)

I need help We are here for you, on every platform and for every request. You are welcome to contact us via email, phone or in the chat of our Facebook group. הצטרפי לקבוצת הפייסבוק 'לא עומדות מנגד' וכתבי לנו בצ'ט הפרטי התקשרי אלינו לשיחה עם הרכזות שלנו בטל' 074-732-3520 כתבי לנו מייל לתיבה שלנו support@lo-omdot.org ואנו נחזור אלייך בהקדם התכתבי עם הרכזות שלנו באפליקציית ה'וואטסאפ' 053-625-9137

The Psychology of Prostitution # Prostitution and the need to punish the "self" This time we will talk about an unspoken and perhaps even strange and non-intuitive topic. Quite a few survivors share with us about a kind of ad diction, a sort of unexplained urge to engage in prostitution. In order to deeply understand the reasons for this, one must dive into the depths of the soul and the trauma and understand its roots. Many of the women share with us about their past as unprotected children. Difficult stories of abuse (of any kind), neglect and harm. In their own way, children mentally survive severe abuse if they blame themselves and not the adult who was supposed to protect them (I tempted dad, I deserved a beating because of my behavior) This is a survival mechanism This is almost the only logical choice, because the alternative - I didnt Nothing and I suffered harm' is much more destructive and hopeless. Following this thought process, the one who is guilty, the "self", must be "punished". Prostitution is a kind of "the knife that cuts the flesh", prostitution is a way to punish/hurt/humiliate parts that deserve to suffer. It is important to say that parts of self-harm exist in all of us, but when you learn from such a young age that it is guilt, this element becomes stronger in adulthood. This is only a partial explanation and not exhaustive, in the hope that we can understand a little more destructive behaviors such as "choosing" prostitution. ​ ​ ​ # Prostitution - the issue of choice In the neoliberal worldviews, the concept of "choice" is considered an almost sacred value. No one asks themselves what led a person to "choose" a certain life path. Economic situation, social disadvantage, dramatic life events and the like are not considered as long as there is a "choice". In the prostitution field, the term "choice" is a key point in any discussion of "whether she chose it or not." If the woman chose prostitution, then there is a veiled guilt here - or an assumption that she must be satisfied because she made a choice. We suggest not dealing with the question of "choice" (to what extent each of us really has a choice is a philosophical question), but with the issue of damages. The harms of prostitution are evident and visible to every woman in the field and are well documented in the research literature. There is no other occupation in which people suffer from such a large variety of: anxiety disorders, depression, dissociation, eating disorders, sleep disorders, dysfunction, double morbidity and much more... Therefore, even if someone "chose" prostitution with a clear mind, she could not foresee the damages and certainly not "choose" them. ​ ​ # prostitution and intimacy  fake One of the most difficult things in prostitution is the request to fake a bond of love, eye contact, kisses, etc. Survivors share how horrible it is for them and does not allow them to detach. The lack of authenticity in the encounter between species is seen as something impossible to accomplish.  Sharing a very, very difficult testimony (!!)  of the survivor requesting that we support her: "You're writing to me at home now after a shift I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown I went to work in five hours and got 8 men And so like a robot... until the eighth came He was stoned and didn't stand up to him and wanted hugs and a conversation It's worse than having sex with them And suddenly I had a panic attack from his smell Sometimes I don't understand the source of the anxiety because there are many reasons at work But this time I know it was the smell from my mouth from the house and it stuck to me and not my soul and he saw me crying for another second and walked away saying I'm weird I had two more customers waiting for me and I couldn't accept them I showered like crazy and I don't feel like it passed And I come to the manager you smell it you smell it ..almost like a delusional attack They tell me no I couldn't, I begged to go and apologized again Now at home and still stressed I want to cry, I'm so disgusted with them I always try to have relationships with them with my back because I can't look at them And the worst thing is that they ask, oh yes, look me in the eyes It's torture..because I always close my eyes and it helps me imagine things.. And they cut off my imagination, I don't function I take comfort in writing and also in the knowledge of sharing.' ​ ​ # Prostitution and female empowerment Xavira Hollander,   In 1972 Xavira wrote a book, a world bestseller, called "The happy hooker"  translated in Hebrew to "House of pleasure"._cc781905-5cde-3194- -136bad5cf58d_ The book, which I was also exposed to years ago, describes the horny and passionate memories of someone who was a woman in prostitution in the merry 60's and later a famous madam in Manhattan, writes a regular advice column for the monthly "Penthouse" and the like. The book gives a sense of a turbulent and adventurous sex life and describes the world of prostitution as a place that empowers women, glamorous and wonderful. In 2002, Kasoira wrote a book called "No Longer a Girl" in which she describes her childhood during the Holocaust, the brutal attacks she and her mother experienced in a Japanese POW camp and the sexual vulnerability they were exposed to. The book actually describes how the girl's psyche can be prepared for what is known as "traumatic sexualization" later in life. The last book did not become a bestseller. For further reading: (descriptions are very, very triggering, see their warning) https://prostitutionresearch.com/happy-hooker-revisited ​ ​ # Prostitution and drug use, further explanations It is common to see the use of drugs as a way to comfort yourself and disconnect from the difficult experience of prostitution. But there are other reasons. Rachel Moran, a survivor of prostitution herself, writes in her book: "Paid for - my journey through prostitution", because drugs are a way to distance yourself from the "prostitute" image that stuck to you. According to her, it is so difficult to contain this social humiliation, that the drugs make it possible to detach from the difficult self-image created by our sick society. ​ # Prostitution and male triggers Many survivors experience triggers even when they are in communication with men, even years after leaving the world of prostitution. A male voice on the phone, getting into an elevator with a man or just walking down the street is enough for this to cause them distress (post-traumatic stress disorder) and even disconnection (dissociation). Sometimes contact with men activates coping patterns in them that do not serve them: from paralysis to excessive kindness - everything stems from threatening situations in the past that caused women to develop automatic defense behaviors. These are situations in which, for the sake of survival, the brain has learned to disconnect itself and perform, similar to training. Of course, it is not possible to walk around the world in a sterile and male-free environment, and there are also men who are sensitive and moral enough not to take advantage of the situation and their intentions are good, but even in front of them the difficulty may arise due to the bitter past attempts of the survivors. We recommend that, at least in the initial stages of rehabilitation, try to avoid trigger situations and stay safe. This is especially true for inpatient settings for drug and alcohol rehab - here, from our experience, we unanimously recommend going exclusively to settings designed for women only. *The post was written in collaboration with "Cat in a Dress", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and a sense of transparency Many women in prostitution share the experience of being "invisible", transparent. Many times the roots of this experience lie in childhood. The girl's family hurt her, neglected her, physically and/or emotionally, or failed for one reason or another to protect her from the vulnerability of the surrounding world. In any discussion of this issue, there will be voices that will argue that it is not possible to state conclusively that all women in prostitution were abused or neglected in their childhood. In connection with this, our claim is that even if a woman experienced a childhood that can be called a normal childhood, and perhaps even a happy childhood, then prostitution in itself is overwhelmingly a pretense. In this way, it is argued, the counterfeiting, and in light of this also the transparency, are integral parts of the world of prostitution. The woman, in order to satisfy the men's demands, often has to pretend that she is enjoying herself, to pretend that she is interested in what is happening or in the person and is forced to pretend that what is done to her is her sincere and authentic desire. In this way- her feelings are transparent and invisible, her feelings are transparent and invisible, her body becomes transparent and invisible (but a tool to satisfy needs only), and in this way- she herself as a woman, as a person, becomes transparent, invisible- and perhaps does not even exist in the eyes of others. We do not stand by and see you - in our community you are no longer invisible in the world - for us you are important, for us you are precious - for us you are a part of the community - just as you are, unconditionally and without the need for anything in return. *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" a member of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and the reconstruction of the initial trauma  We were asked to publish this post this time by S., a survivor of our community member. She seeks to explain the psychological process of prostitution from her point of view. "The data is always the same data. What changes from country to country are the faces and periods. As a survivor of street life, with all that implies, I know that all my friends have a similar background It doesn't matter where we were born or where we were raised It doesn't matter where we studied or what our dreams were We've all been hurt during trauma recovery! The average survivor will tell you about a difficult case in her past. This case (and maybe more cases) wounded her terribly. The life after, the post-post-trauma of shopping street life, etc., is based on an endless fear that they won't love me - and then I give myself extra hours without being asked. Lest I be lonely - then I'm also nice to those I want to kill Lest I get hungry - then I just buy ten packs of tuna. in my life Lest I run out of gas - so I fill up every two days. I don't know how to bargain for myself, I have no price for myself. I myself have been hurt and now I am learning to give myself space and a comfortable and safe life thanks to education and work, and even there, you have to set limits When you come from a place of scarcity to the world of commerce, you see people lie just to hurt themselves a little more with mind-altering substances\ you see skeletons nodding just to get another Adolen cork and you know that all the girls who look at you with a glazed look come from your damaged background.' ​ ​ # Prostitution and reproduction as compensation for absence In the past we wrote about the subject of reconstruction (re-victimization) in prostitution, this time we will refer to the subject of reconstruction from another explanatory angle: a narrative explanation. Prolonged sexual abuse in childhood generally takes place under the cover of threat and concealment. These injuries take place underground, while obliging the girl to keep the injury a secret. Since little girls lack the language required to conceptualize what is happening to them (or still lack language at all), the hurt often remains in a vacuum devoid of words, and even when the girl does try to speak the hurt, in the childish language that is accessible to her, she is often met with misunderstanding on the part of The environment ignored, mocked and even angered and threatened her. The threats made many times to the girl by the abuser (because if you tell, no one will believe/no one will care/everyone will be angry with her) prove themselves to be reality in practice. Those silenced parts do not remain quietly in the dark - but continue to aspire from their place, which is often unconscious - for compensation and recognition - from the environment, and sometimes - also from the girl herself who has grown up. In light of this desire for compensation, many times the very act of prostitution constitutes in itself a mental impulse to create a narrative for a premature injury that remains without words, without understanding, without language, sometimes even completely cut off from the main stream of consciousness. Along with the need to create a narrative in order to connect to a whole self, other theories that deal with the reconstruction of vulnerability, speak of the fact that there is a hidden hope that this time someone will know about the harm, that someone will choose to see and come to the rescue, that this time things will be different. Unfortunately, in a world where there are so many stigmas towards the subject of prostitution, as well as in a world where ridicule, disdain and jokes are frequently heard towards women in prostitution - these deep needs for attack, recognition, visibility and salvation are met time and time again with similar reactions, and even the same, as those encountered at the time The initial injury itself. In this way, the woman-child remains in the cycle of helplessness and abandonment, and the needs themselves, who once again failed to win the compensation they longed for and waited for, continue to turn again and again around the same cycle of harm - in the hope that maybe this time someone will see, maybe this time someone will hear - maybe this time... Maybe.. after all, help will come. *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution "and the girlfriend experience" Prostitution, in its popular sense, is recognized by most of the public as a sexual act in exchange for a sum of money. In the past, we detailed various other aspects of violence that are frequently included in the world of prostitution and are part of the harsh, violent and offensive reality of prostitution. In this post we would like to highlight another practice that is an integral part of the prostitution world, a practice that is perhaps one of the most exploitative practices in the prostitution field, and that is the GX. This practice means that fornicators demand that the woman behave as if she were "their friend". I mean, look into their eyes, kiss, cuddle with them - just like a woman in love behaves. Apparently, this is an innocent and harmless request. Perhaps among some of us it can even arouse empathy towards them. However, in fact - this request is not essentially different from the sexual act itself - these two requests are completely equal to each other. The thing that is possible in view of this request is the creation of a blurring of the essence of the situation - which is exploitation and harm and the extroverted view of a woman who suffers from the situation. Beyond obscuring the immorality that this practice produces, most of the survivors are disgusted by it. Contrary to external thinking that may and may be formed in connection with this practice - one that believes that it is better to be the request and not such and such deviations or violent behavior - this practice is not only not superior to other requests - but sometimes it is even experienced as worse than them. Worse because unlike a technical and cold sexual act which allows one to detach and not be, leaving only the body to do what is required of them - this request actually forces the woman to be present there - to experience the disgust and disgust - and to stay, and not just in her body. Thus, this practice, which is perhaps perceived as less violent, denies the woman the only freedom she still has left in the situation - the emotional escape from the unbearable. In doing so, many times this practice scars the soul even more, drains more strength, causes much more suffering - deepens and worsens the trauma, when the other party feels that he is a good person, neither violent nor offensive - but just someone who wanted to buy some love and proximity *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and regaining control Prostitution can be experienced by the woman as a relationship in which she functions as strong and controlling. Among women in prostitution, the sense of control often takes on a particularly large weight, as a result of the fact that many of them were deprived of control during their childhood. A search for control, whether conscious or not, is a correction for the helplessness that often accompanies the lack of control in previous relationships. Following on from this, women describe the experience of controlling prostitution in that they are the ones who decide, they are the ones who choose and collect the money, so when it comes to a "service provider" versus a "customer" - there is a false sense of control Although we respect the narrative of returning control and understand the need, as well as the longing for a relationship that will embody other, even opposite, power relations - our claim is that in reality, this control is a mirage and an illusion. This relationship often leaves the woman dependent on money and therefore very far from controlling the situation. This reality leads to the fact that women, even if at first they felt that they choose or know how to set the legitimate limits in their eyes, are slowly forced to flex the limits, or, in other words, to agree to acts they are not interested in, and with adulterers who shy away from them. If so, the ability to choose within the field of feeding is very limited, and with the passage of time disappears completely. *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and dissociative identity disorder As we have written many times in order to succeed in the difficult field of prostitution, many women use drugs and alcohol in order to silence themselves, in others mental mechanisms called dissociation are activated, which we have also written about many times. Dissociation, for those who don't remember, is the possibility of detaching from the experience in such a way that only the body is present, while the mind "wanders" to another place, as if it is not present in the situation (though to emphasize that dissociation can appear in expressions where the body loses sensation to the point of paralyzing parts of it or is experienced as fake) One of the extreme and rare manifestations of dissociative states is dissociative identity disorder. This disorder, popularly known as "split personality" - develops against the background of serious and continuous sexual injuries in early childhood, injuries that are not given any empathic response from the environment. The mechanism of dissociation, as remembered, is a mechanism that manifests itself over a continuum. In prolonged injuries, it is usually customary to talk about the child who detaches at the time of the injury and the normal routine that continues between injury and injury - which is possible due to the mechanism of detachment. In contrast to repression, the matter of harm is not unconsciously manipulated but isolated from the main consciousness. In severe injuries and at an early age, when there are no defense mechanisms and the child is completely helpless in the absence of any supportive environment - sometimes the division of consciousness into parts is so fixed that each part becomes an "entity" in itself - with a unique personality, unique features, unique style and unique preferences. These parts operate independently and disconnected from the main consciousness, when often their role is to protect the child in times of stress. Even after the end of the injury, as an adult, these continue to exist, and automatically appear as a response to a trigger, in order to protect the central personality in times of stress and tension. It should be noted that although the basis of the mechanism is protection, the dynamics of this mechanism, which contains damaged parts, childish parts, as well as parts that identify with the offender, results in the fact that when there is a trigger leading to the appearance of these characters they can be harmed, harming the body which, as mentioned, they all share with the main identity and can resort to self-destructive behaviors. What does all this have to do with prostitution? The connection is that although it is a disorder that is not common among the population, it is apparently more common among women engaged in prostitution. How? This is another proof that prostitution is sexual abuse. Victims went through childhood without a support network, adopted different identities. Some of the identities are of "prostitutes". One of the likely explanations is that these identities are intended to try to control the situation of the injury - to reproduce it and demand money after it as part of a repair. Another explanation is that some of these identities, by virtue of the fact that they are the ones who have experienced the harm, thus protecting other parts who experience themselves as entities that have not been harmed - adopt the narrative that they are prostitutes or that this is their destiny in the world, as well as - sometimes the parts that have been harmed Accused by parts that did not go through the harm (remember, each part functions as an independent and autonomous entity for everything - and these can also talk to each other) because these parts wanted the harm, enjoyed it or went through it by virtue of being promiscuous and promiscuous. *This post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and trigger situations Women in prostitution experience serious sexual trauma. When a trauma occurs, a chain of brain processes result in the trauma being stored in the memory in a different way than a narrative memory. Compared to the healthy memory, the traumatic memory is characterized by a "frozen" and invasive memory of the traumatic events, or alternatively - characterized by the splitting of the memory into different components of the event, so that sometimes a woman can even forget the details of the event itself but remember certain smells or certain symbols that will be associated with certain feelings and this without You will understand why these feelings arise. Sometimes: a certain smell, noises of a special nature, sights, places and the like may lead to the "invasion" of various elements from the traumatic memory. Many prostitution survivors try to avoid these flooding memories and try to avoid coming into contact with them as much as they can. This can lead to a very limited and fearful life. For example, we hear from survivors that they are afraid to pick up the phone to a government office (maybe a man will answer) or are afraid to walk around a certain area (because it reminds them of things), etc. It is important to understand that this is not purely anxiety, but avoidance serves as a defense mechanism that helps protect the mind from the flooding of the disconnected or unprocessed traumatic contents that were encoded during the trauma and threaten the life and soul of the survivor - whether she is aware of them or not. *The post was written in collaboration with the survivor, a member of our community, "Shelgia". ​ ​ # Neglected environment and prostitution "No one cared about anything, when I go, when I come back, if I ate, I went to the doctors alone, a 9-year-old girl, alone" (from a surviving testimony). A neglectful childhood environment is on the vulnerability continuum and is the other side of the same coin - abuse. While the physical and sexual injuries in childhood "invade" the girl's life and erase her being a human being, so does neglect and neglect which do a similar action. Girls who have grown up and been neglected are often looking for someone to see them, to notice the "deletion", to give attention... to give what they didn't receive. This is fertile ground for exploitation by pimps and fornicators, since they are often aware of this plight of the women. This awareness allows them to use the relationship as bait. Thus, some of them demonstrate a soft and humane attitude towards the women at the beginning of the relationship, while giving attention and giving a sense of value and visibility. This creates a trap in which the woman who is so thirsty for visibility and attention from someone in the world, any person - enters into a relationship with the person who sees her and seemingly reaches out to her. Then, slowly as the relationship progresses, the mask of exploitation, violence and humiliation begins. ​ ​ # Prostitution and trust in the world "Open the gate, open to space Walk through here false chain" (Shad Aryot/Smeder Weinstock) Women in prostitution are often used to relations of exploitation, abandonment, abuse and betrayal. In many cases these relationships originate from the beginning of their childhood. Parents and close adults in their world who were supposed to provide security, love, concern, guard and protection - used their power as responsible adults for abuse, exploitation and harm. Alternatively, or sometimes even at the same time, those adults ignored the children's needs for warmth, love and protection, as well as the calls for help - and behaved in neglect, neglect and abandonment. The dynamics of these relationships, as learned in childhood, is established in the deepest and most rooted perceptions of the self and its environment - and thus affects all interpersonal relationships and the relationship to the world in general. Unfortunately, many times women who were hurt or abandoned in childhood continue to encounter factors that recognize their vulnerability even in adulthood, taking advantage of this in order to continue the chain of exploitation and betrayal - thereby further confirming their thoughts and knowledge of who they are as human beings. Thus every relationship, even a benevolent one, is examined suspiciously and with doubt. The good is seen as dangerous, true worry is seen as heavy and the anxiety of abandonment is constantly present in the experience. In a world where the terms "unconditional love" or benevolent relations with the world - these are things that were never given and were not there - sometimes, understandably, our teams are also suspected of having hidden intentions and as those who will continue the cycle of exploitation and harm and want a return. Building a relationship of trust is a long, arduous, delicate and difficult process that takes a long time, puts us through quite a few tests - this while expecting that we too will be hurt, disappointed, abandoned and hurt, and sometimes while trying to even provide proof of this (whether consciously or unconsciously). We are aware of this difficulty in front of people and in front of the world. We are aware that the possibility of knowing another side of the world, as well as believing in the possibility of goodness and sincere caring are things that are unbearably difficult, sometimes even seen as impossible at all. Therefore, we will do as much as we can to try to slowly build a new possibility, perhaps the first, to create trust - in us, and perhaps in the future also in the world. We will try to enable the creation of hope for an encounter with another type of human being. And above all - the possibility of knowing and believing that we are here. Whenever you want - by your side and with you. *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia", a survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and eating disorders Trauma and sexual abuse are sometimes manifested in eating disorders. Eating disorders can manifest in a multifaceted way starting with reductions, starvation and purging, through binge eating to patterns of binge eating followed by compensatory behavior. Eating disorders have many meanings. Some of them are compensating for an internal void, silencing pain with food, and controlling what enters the body. Therefore, it is not for nothing that there is comorbidity between eating disorders and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. But even if we decide to put the psychological explanations aside, women in prostitution are measured and evaluated based on their appearance, both by pimps and customers. Entire sites on the Internet rate, recommend and measure their fonts. The pressure to be thin according to the accepted model (hereafter: "market demands") give their signals and are a source of the development of an eating disorder. In other words, being in prostitution may ignite an eating disorder or deepen and worsen an existing eating disorder. Also, it is worth noting that sometimes the trauma of prostitution itself may be a trigger for the development of an eating disorder, as part of the defense mechanisms required for survival in this reality or for the purpose of dealing with post-traumatic symptoms from which many women who have already left the world of prostitution suffer. This is how we once again become aware of the heavy costs of prostitution, the destruction of the body and mind that is created or deepens due to prostitution and the suffering that many women have to deal with, whether they are still in active prostitution or whether they have already left it.  *The post was written in collaboration with the survivor of our community. ​ ​ # Prostitution and sleep disorders Both the professional literature and evidence in the field indicate a direct link between being in prostitution and the development of post-traumatic stress disorder. Some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder are characterized by severe sleep disturbances: difficulty falling asleep, nightmares and sleep disturbances, awakenings during the night, etc. Many women in prostitution tell us about sleep disorders. Night sleep is not seen as desirable and comforting and they are afraid to go to sleep for fear of bad dreams and the lack of protection. Anesthesia is associated with the release of control and calmness, two elements that are especially difficult for those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder - therefore, more than once women have turned to us for advice on how to put them to sleep. Thus, through this difficulty, we are once again evidence that prostitution is an act of violence against women that leads to severe mental consequences and damage to normal functioning. ​ ​ # "Dissociation" in prostitution "Interviewer: work in prostitution. What does it mean to stand on the street, catch clients? You're not really answering me. You talk around as if Gila (angrily): Say, don't you understand that I wasn't there? Only my body was there. I don't remember anything from there." (From the book: "Promiscuous" / Anat Gor). Dissociation means disassociation. That is, a situation in which different components of the experience are disconnected and isolated, when some components may be disconnected from the main consciousness. Dissociation is described in the literature as a continuum ranging from normative dissociation to pathological dissociation that exists as a defense mechanism that allows the psyche to survive severe traumas, which the psyche is unable to contain at the time of their occurrence. Despite the advantage of the dissociation mechanism many times when this defense mechanism is used to survive severe injuries that began in childhood, the use of dissociation is established as an automatic way of dealing with stress and risk situations and is activated repeatedly involuntarily even years after the initial injury has ended. Thus, the victimized girl is able in her adulthood to enter these situations in order to protect herself from suffering, but these situations are a "paradise" for repeated exploitation by fornicators and pimps, because, those disconnected situations allow them to do as they wish. This is how many women describe the experience in prostitution of the situation in which they are not really present, disconnected from themselves. Although dissociation protects the soul from experiencing further suffering, it is the one which, as mentioned, at the same time serves the continuation of exploitation by parties who are aware of this mechanism and harness it to their needs. ​ ​ # Paving for prostitution - verbal condemnations in childhood "When I was eight years old I was called a 'slut', outside my friends said I was a slut... and now I became one, a slut." The process of "indoctrination" into prostitution often begins at a young age. Verbal condemnation is another possible factor (plural) for entering the world of prostitution. The environment sees you as such, treats you as such and in the end, like any self-fulfilling prophecy, you identify with what the environment treated you and adopt these sayings. Life stories of women in prostitution include descriptions of how the closest people humiliated and ridiculed the girl, attributed "traits of a prostitute" to the girl and did not allow her to see herself as something else. Unlike an adult person with an established personality, a girl's personality - especially at young ages - is still in the process of construction. The meaning of this is that the way a girl perceives her value and essence in the world is through the eyes of the significant adults in her life. When these repeat over and over again that this is the girl's only value - this will also be the perception that the girl will develop about herself and grow within and into her. This perception is interwoven, fixed and embedded as an inseparable part of the self-perception, so that even if in adulthood the ability to see critically regarding these statements develops, the feeling of the essence of existence as a "prostitute" will still remain stubbornly embedded in the depths of the soul. That's why it's very difficult to get rid of this self-image, but for us at "Not Standing" no one was born a prostitute and that's not the vocation of any person. ​ ​ # Prostitution and living on the fringes of society "I didn't come from a home like everyone else's, I didn't have a normal childhood, I didn't have a normal life, what about me and a normal job, who am I working for?!" (from a surviving testimony) Many women in prostitution describe the feeling of living on the margins, a sense of self-inability to function in the "mainstream". Many come from dysfunctional families, and set out on an independent life with no tools to cope, when in most cases leaving home is done as part of an escape without any resources. In the absence of support or support in the world, these women are exposed to exploitative environments. Since for the most part an exploitative and abusive environment is the only reality these women know, this does not arouse their suspicion or opposition to this reality - rather it seems to them a matter of course. Thus many times they begin to deteriorate down the road to prostitution. In turn, living in prostitution continues and deepens the sequence of emotional harm that began long ago, when this harm leads to further confirmation for the woman of her low self-worth, her inability, her difference and her alienness in relation to others and others in the world. These women feel that they are not worthy and that they are unable to hold on to a normative job. These feelings are also accompanied by objective functional difficulties arising from the very complex post-trauma that many women in prostitution suffer from. Thus the identification with that "marginality" becomes part of the woman's inner identity and gradually she internalizes that prostitution is her destiny. This is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to get out of the circle of prostitution and the advice: "Go work a normal job like everyone else" does not take into account how difficult this journey is for them. ​ ​ חזרה למידע והסברה

Info & Advocacy We founded the advocacy corner almost from the day our Facebook group was established. This corner features posts written by Naama Goldberg, PhD student and prostitution researcher at Bar Ilan University, founder and CEO of the association. The posts are almost always written with the cooperation and approval of prostitution survivors, real women who were or are in the circle of prostitution. They refine, correct, add or delete incorrect information. Sometimes social workers from the field also go over the contents and help us present facts correctly. Most of the information is based on academic studies. If there is no study or we are not aware of one, we indicate this and formulate carefully. These posts are especially read by survivors of prostitution, who write to us personally that the posts reflect well and echo their feelings. ​ These contents may be emotionally overwhelming and are not suitable for minors under the age of 18. Please read responsibly. Terms & Definitions Read more The Psychology of Prostitution Read more Rape Culture Read more Family Relations & Prostitution Read more Violence In Prostitution Read more General World Information Read more Rehabilitation Read more

Violence In Prostitution #   fornication And this time it's not about a topic, about women who consume prostitution indirectly or directly alongside their partner. A survivor writes us a hard testimony (!) about this: "There is a phenomenon that has been gaining strength lately among married couples or just couples who have been together for a long time,   to invite an escort girl for a threesome. When we already seem to know what humiliation is, the client arrives on the scene and sets a new standard of humiliation. The eyes examining every centimeter of my body,   your hands or your touch on me as if you are in a porn movie with a promise of an Oscar at the end... I I understand, you are liberal, you are open, you prefer your husband to cheat with you and not behind your back, maybe you yourself are attracted to women.  But you, who ask me to undress in front of you and look at your husband with a look of "look what I brought you, how cool I am" put yourself in my place. You are a woman, you are like me, so where does the ignorance or ignorance come from to treat me as if we are not of the same species. After all, you wouldn't want to be in my place, but if your reality was different, maybe you   would turn out to be me.        Meet someone in a bar, there are plenty of sites, there are promiscuous clubs all over Tel Aviv. So why buy a wife? I sometimes try without words to convey to a woman only through the eyes, that please, at least be gentle, don't be sneaky at my expense.  But women never look me back in the eyes. Sometimes you can say, "Mommy, just put on a condom that doesn't get infected with diseases." It's a shame, it's another piece of trust   in the world, in the people we lose." ​ ​ # Prostitution and physical violence "Even the nice customers are violent, as if in the bottom line he paid and you have to deliver the goods" (from the testimony of S., a survivor of prostitution) As we have already written before, prostitution and violence are intertwined. Studies have shown that women in prostitution are exposed to more violence than women who are not in prostitution, are exposed to severe physical injuries and even murder. The reasons for this do not relate to the "nature of the population" that comes, but because prostitution, by its very nature, puts the woman in the position of an object and a legitimate object of abuse and harm. When sexual violence is committed against an "ordinary" woman, there are indeed quite a few injustices in the handling of the matter by the authorities, but these women still have the social legitimacy to complain and protest about it. If physical violence is also involved, it is reasonable that there will be a more serious regard for the complaint and more extensive condemnation from the company. In comparison, when a woman in prostitution is harmed, it will usually not interest anyone, and certainly will not evoke empathy or compassion. Complaining to the police is not an option because the woman will be told that it is her fault or that it is part of "the job", and this is without even discussing the humiliation she will experience just from being exposed. This transparency is not limited only to the capacity of the complaint, but pervades the entire mindset in the media and society as a whole. Thus, if God forbid a "normative" woman is murdered, there will certainly be coverage in the media (whether little or extensive). About women in prostitution who are murdered, on the other hand, apparently nothing is heard. In this way, these women remain transparent to the same extent, and this is also one of the reasons why serial killers see women in prostitution as convenient victims - because they can be hurt in the most sadistic and violent way possible, and without any fear of being judged for it. Even in our community here, almost every woman who comes to us, shares difficult situations she experienced and extreme violence against her or intimidation by pimps and/or prostitutes if she does not cooperate. Intimidation, intimidation, humiliation and control are allowed to those parties without interference as a result and as a direct continuation of the social reality in which women in prostitution are seen as different, promiscuous, despicable, emotionless, bad and most of all - transparent. *The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" surviving our community. Thank you. ​ # Prostitution and adulterers in positions of power They are famous, they have money, they also usually look not bad at all and can have sexual relations with women without paying, so why are they consumers of paid sex? The answer is that we are once again evidence that paying for access to a woman's body parts does not stem from desire or a lack of sex, but is an act of exercising control and power. Reliable survivors shared with us the names of celebrities, those that young girls really "fall at their feet", but they insist on "ordering prostitution services" in order to demonstrate their wealth and powers, often accompanied by humiliating behavior on their part towards the survivors (I wish we could publish their names). The claim that sex consumers are poor and dark men, shatters when you recognize the reality of women in prostitution. ​ # What is the difference between a pimp and a hit man? Many tangents characterize the levels of dependence and terror produced by violent men in relationships and pimps towards women in prostitution. In both situations the men humiliate the women and lower their self-confidence in a way that does not allow the women to believe that something else good awaits them or that they deserve more. In both situations, the men own the economic capital, and the women find themselves destitute, owe money and depend on their spouse/pimp in order to exist and make a living The violent men/pimps shower expressions of love on the women in a confusing way and create a false sense of protection. Women in prostitution often see a pimp as a real family member who takes care of their needs and protects them ("He's my best friend" / "He's an amazing man" - phrases I've heard about very violent pimps) Pimps and violent men in relationships isolate women from the world: from friends, from family, etc., creating a disconnected bubble in which only the practice of prostitution/relationship exists and this in order to further weaken the woman. ​ ​ # Prostitution and hidden violent practices (The post includes graphic descriptions, please read with discretion) As we know, adulterers use violence against women in a variety of ways. The most commonly known and talked about ways are the ways that are openly perceived as violent. These may include verbal humiliation, use of physical force, rape and the like. But beyond that, there are other ways, hidden from view - on which we wish to shine a spotlight in this post. This week, a prostitution survivor told us that some clients use laxatives and ejaculation inhibitors. They do not inform the women of this and some find themselves with anesthetized mouths and cannot understand the reason. Other ways include removing a condom in the middle of an act without asking permission, using lubricants/saliva, etc. without asking permission, etc. Measures of this kind are measures that most likely will not immediately come to our mind when the term "violence" is mentioned, but nevertheless and precisely because of this - it is serious violence for all intents and purposes. We see the depth of its seriousness and complexity in that it often creates difficulty in diagnosing it in a way that is declared as harm. Unfortunately, these practices are also relevant to the lives of women who do not engage in prostitution - and they even experience the gap and dissonance between their difficult inner feeling and the difficulty of clearly understanding that these behaviors are harmful. Therefore, in situations of prostitution, where the relationship is not a relationship from the beginning, but the satisfaction of the needs of one party only - the complexity of these feelings, as well as the gap created - is only further intensified. Worse than that is the knowledge that even if a woman succeeds in formulating the understanding that this is wrong and unacceptable - still the money she needs (or the fear of revenge for daring to violate her place in the power relations and control) stands as a barrier between her ability to revolt against the act. In this way, the dynamics of prostitution allow the continuation of a cycle of obedience, servitude and submission - without any ability of the woman to have any ownership over her body and soul. * The post was written in collaboration with "Shelgia" and "Inbal" surviving members of our community. The day the understanding is established that women in prostitution are us and here and not them and there - we will become a more enlightened, and above all integrative and whole society. ​ ​ # Prostitution and violence - testimony from the inside This is the testimony of a woman I know well. Evidence of an attempted murder she went through this week which luckily she survived. (The testimony is very graphic and difficult!!) Friday, I was waiting for a driver in the street, my face is headed for Beer Sheva. I don't know if there will be work, lately it has been relatively quiet. My heart rustles. Getting into the car, praying that I will return home without being seen, after 2-3 orders from drunks, from the streets. Then the call came on Telegram, it was around five in the morning, I didn't exactly have any strength left. I returned to the car, on my way to another order. The driver continued to drive to a prestigious area of villas with beautiful names of citrus cows, he stopped on the street. I'm exhausted, I want to sleep already, I'm texting messages from the electricity company in preparation for disconnection. There is nothing to talk about for children's camps. The owner of the apartment sent a letter in preparation for execution, threatening me with immediate eviction. The door was opened for me by a guy about twenty plus years old, relatively tall, fair, his eyes were bright, he looked embarrassed. Introduced himself and reassured: Don't worry, I'm not going to break you. I don't just want sex from you. I want to spend two hours together, having fun, drinking, talking, I'll tell you a little about myself. He offered me 1,000 for two hours, I refused, he raised the price to 1,200, I refused again, he offered 1,300. I told him that it is acceptable to pay 2000,000 per hour. He gave me a sum of cash in hand. I counted 1500. I'm sorry, I can't. I said and left the apartment. I went back to sit in the car, the clerk called, listen, he wants you, he called me. I'm willing to give you a little more for your part. I do this just for you. I know you need money. After persuasion, I went up again, knocked on his door, it seemed that he was relieved. I received 1500 from him for two hours. We entered the room after I showered in the tub, I noticed that there was a key attached to the door and I locked it so that he wouldn't get in the middle. There was a horror in the bed, he whipped me, slapped me painfully, pulled my hair aggressively, cursed me: whore, whore, whore, and more shameless. I told him be careful, you gave me blue marks, you can't hit me. If this continues I will go. What you are doing to me is a crime. Kept giving me a hard time. He turned me over on my stomach and tried to insert his penis without a condom, after throwing the condom I brought on the floor. I rebelled. I've screamed enough, I can't anymore. stop that. I got up and he nervously asked for money back, took out a calculator from the drawer and said you were with me for 20 minutes. I want a refund for 70 min. I explained to him that he received a discount of NIS 500 and there is no refund for an hour. Ready to return 500 to him and parted as friends. He asked for the money with curses and threats, I asked him for a minute just to get dressed, I held my bag, I was afraid he would hold onto it. He refused to give me a minute. I remained stuck without the ability to free myself, ready to get out of there even naked and knock on the neighbors' doors. I break you into twenty pieces. I beat you to death. You won't get out of here alive, he said and swung his fist in my direction. I didn't have time to think, he ran to the kitchen, and came back with a huge kitchen knife, for cutting meat. The knife was a few inches from my body. I fled towards the bathroom, I closed the door on me with the lock I remembered from earlier. He felt defeated. Screamed and cursed, threatened to kick and break the door. When I tried to take the mobile out of the bag to call the police, it dawned on me that the phone was at zero percent. The driver must be sleeping in the car. There's no way he'll come up before the time runs out. When will I get out of here? My mind ached with thoughts of death. About twenty minutes later he tried to calm me down, give me the money, I'll take the knife down. I told him: "I will only leave here accompanied by a car. You threatened me with a kitchen knife, cursed me and beat me. I am afraid to go out." I tried to open it and peek at him, he was still with the knife. He managed to get me and I couldn't lock the door again. I took the money out of my bra and gave it to him. Come take it, just let me go. You don't want to go to jail because of a girl, do you? I approached the door , I asked him to put down the knife, he threw the bills I gave back to him on the floor. Two two-hundred and one one-hundred bills. I tried to open but he was adamant: now indulge me. Unfortunately, he didn't let me leave his apartment until he was satisfied. I finished my shift at seven in the morning, with a Postinor pill that I bought for fear of getting pregnant from it. "Don't forget to smile, you have a perfect smile. And if the police come, what will you say? Where did you come to me from?", he left a phone number and suggested that we meet privately, that you have more meat and earn without sharing the money, and if you have a child from me, you are welcome to call. ​ ​ Back

What is the Nordic Model Adopted by Israel? Article: Luba Fine The Nordic model is sometimes also referred to as the "ban on the consumption of prostitution", the "abolitionist model" or the "equality model". This is a regulatory approach, which makes buying "sexual services" an illegal act. Economic activity aimed at profiting from another person's prostitution, such as pimping, is also prohibited. Prostitution itself is seen within the framework of the model as a harm to those who engage in it, and therefore they are provided with rehabilitation services and exit from the circle of prostitution. This approach has been adopted in Sweden (1999), Norway (2009), Iceland (2009), Canada (2014), Northern Ireland (2015), France (2016), Ireland (2017) and Israel (2020). What is the source of access? The first country where a feminist organization arose demanding a ban on the consumption of prostitution was Norway, where the first women's demonstrations broke out already in the 1980s. However, Sweden was the first to enforce the ban. Extensive research preceded the legislation. One of the researchers was Cecilie Høigård. This is how she describes what happened [1] : "We spent several years in fieldwork and developed close relationships with the women in prostitution. We heard about their experiences of past abuse, extreme poverty and violence. We were prepared for these stories, because of the previous studies we conducted on the marginalized groups. But what the women told us about their concrete experiences of prostitution was unexpected and shocking They told us how it feels to use their bodies and vaginas as rental space, invaded by violent men, and explained the need to separate the body from the self: 'I and my body are two separate parts. It is not me, my feelings or my soul that is beating. I am not for sale '." "Women had many strategies for maintaining this separation. In order to have agency in their lives, they showed great creativity and power within the small space of maneuver they had. However, over time they found it difficult to maintain the separation between their bodies and themselves. After the adulterer left, Len was difficult Especially to return to themselves. In the end, women felt worthless, dirty and disgusting. These stories were very similar to what we heard from victims of other types of sexual violence, such as incest, rape and domestic violence. The research group disagreed on many things, but they all expressed the same feelings of despair in relation to the pain and lack of understanding of the adulterers regarding the consequences of their actions." "In the beginning, there was huge opposition to the idea of banning the consumption of prostitution, but after a few years the opponents in the working group changed their position. The ensuing discussion served as an extensive educational campaign. In Sweden, attitudes towards the law quickly changed in a positive direction, and the proportion of Swedish men who buy 'sexual services' from women depreciation". What is the purpose of the Nordic Nordic model? The main purpose of any type of criminal legislation is to deter the public from committing certain behavior while clarifying what we as a society consider unacceptable. Anyone can experience an urge to commit criminal behavior, but after thinking about arrest and punishment, many consider alternative solutions for this behavior, which do not have criminal and social sanctions on their side. The Nordic model is no different. The law clarifies that paying for prostitution is not acceptable, and that it has specific sanctions. The principles of the Nordic model 1. Not criminalizing the population for prostitution The population in prostitution is the main victim of the sex industry. Prostitution is violent by nature and hurts those who are trapped and trapped in the cycle. Exiting the cycle of feeding is much more difficult than entering it. Any criminal record makes getting out even more difficult. Therefore, the criminalization of those who are involved in prostitution should be avoided only for their personal practice of prostitution, as opposed to the criminalization of those who make a living from the prostitution of others. 2. Rehabilitation services for those trying to get out of prostitution The Nordic model requires the establishment of a set of services for the population in the circle of prostitution, including rehabilitation services. There is a need for services that make it possible to minimize the harm of prostitution without moral judgment towards those who engage in it, as well as services for exiting prostitution that include psychosocial support, access to existing government services, rehab services, professional training and more. A set of services of this type has been developing in Israel since the beginning of the 21st century, and on the website "Khal Zerot" you can find information about the services available today. The entry into force of the law prohibiting the consumption of prostitution has expanded significantly. 3. Legal ban on consuming "prostitution services" A legal prohibition on paying another person for an act of prostitution is the central principle of the Nordic model. The purpose of the ban is more deterrence than punishment, so in all the countries adopting the model it is a non-harsh punishment. 4. Strict enforcement of all prohibitions on making a profit from prostitution Any activity aimed at making a living from the prostitution of another person, such as solicitation, trafficking, maintaining a place for the purpose of prostitution, pimping others, and more, these are violations of human rights that should be severely punished. 5. Public education Since the phenomenon of prostitution is rooted in human culture, effective change requires an extensive public campaign, education programs in schools, training for police officers, social workers, teachers, municipal workers and health workers. ​ References "What is the Nordic Model?" https://nordicmodelnow.org/what-is-the-nordic-model/ What services does Israel provide to people in prostitution under the Nordic Model? https://nordicmodelnow.org/2021/02/09/what-services-does-israel-provide-to-people-in-prostitution-under-the-nordic-model/ A guide for women, youth and men in prostitution or recovering from prostitution https://www.kolzchut.org.il/he/%D7%9E%D7%93%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9A_%D7%9C%D7%A0%D7%A9%D7%99 %D7%9D,_%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A2%D7%A8_%D7%95%D7%92%D7%91%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D_%D7%91 %D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%92%D7%9C_%D7%94%D7%96%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%90%D7%95_%D7%9E%D7 %A9%D7%AA%D7%A7%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%9D_%D7%9E%D7%96%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%AA?fbclid=IwAR1rjcJgyuzZEJIBweLsUau4WclyesHQF43zjk-Tw4rdCPJRZWu1g_rkIu8 [1] https://docs.euromedwomen.foundation/files/ermwf-documents/6683_prostitution&trafficking-themarketofsex.pdf חזרה